


Between the Land & Sea

by miltonicsimile



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beach Holidays, Eventual Smut, M/M, Mental Health Issues, MerMay, Selkie! Soonyoung, Selkies, lol ITS LATE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:55:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 28,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24501949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miltonicsimile/pseuds/miltonicsimile
Summary: What is Jihoon to do when a handsome stranger shows up at his door saying that they’re married by the laws of the sea?
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 36
Kudos: 176





	1. Do you want to go to the seaside?

**Author's Note:**

> so i failed at mermay but here is part of it lol.....
> 
> [Based on this prompt](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/6b/15/04/6b1504551af3e0c8b2b5a040029f8788.jpg)

The cure for everything is said to be saltwater - it's in our sweat, tears, and the sea.

Jihoon thought that was a load of bullshit. Yet here he was, on an island off the west coast, watching the white-capped waves of the Yellow Sea roll into shore. If he was going to be miserable, he was at least going to try doing it at the seaside.

So, Jihoon forces himself to go to the beach every day - despite the mist, despite the wind, despite the call of his bed to lay there for hours and wallow in his own misery. Getting to the beach was enough of an accomplishment in itself. Everything else was moot.

With the skyline blanketed in stretches of thick clouds edging from steel blue to indigo, Jihoon is considering packing up. He’s been here all day and all he has to show for it is a wind burnt face and damp shorts. Nearly ten hours of listening to music off his phone mixing with the sound of the waves.

He is about to give up trying to read the detective book from Wonwoo, tired of fighting with the beach wind when someone calls out to him.

“Hello!” A little way down the beach there is an old woman walking towards him. She has a hand on top of her hat and the cuffs of her pants are rolled up. She is waving at him. “You are staying at old fisherman Jung’s house.”

He can hardly hear over the wind, but Jihoon manages to catch her words. And it’s a statement, not a question. It’s what he should expect from a small town, a village really, on a small island. News spreads quickly.

“Yes,” Jihoon answers. He turns off his music and shoves the book into his bag then gets to his feet, bending into a bow. He’s tired - exhausted really - but he knows better than to be discourteous. “I arrived last week.”

Finally closer, the old woman nods and Jihoon can see all the fine lines etched into her smiling face. She clearly already knew this. “All by yourself?”

“Yes.”

The old woman hums, stray grey hairs dancing wildly in the wind. “For how long?”

Jihoon realizes now that she is simply here for the gossip. And he can’t even be mad. Curiosity is something everyone is guilty of. “I don’t really know,” Jihoon says truthfully, swinging his bag onto his shoulder. It’s fairly heavy, filled with books, pens, and a mostly empty water bottle. “I came here to get away from the city. I might stay a few weeks or the whole summer.”

“You don’t have to return to work?”

It’s a nosy question, one that might have her asking how much money he makes if he answers carelessly. “Ah, my work is flexible. I can do it remotely. I’m mostly here for a break from it though. I’m not sure if I’ll try to do much while here.”

Something flashes in the old woman’s eyes and she starts towards the solid land. “Well, in that case, you must come and visit my restaurant in the village. My son has even put in a bar. Things are still on the slow side, not quite tourist season yet.”

“Of course,” he says politely, matching her step across the solid damp sand beneath his feet. It’s tightly packed and easy to walk across and likely even drive, not loose fine sand or even impossibly smooth rocks.

“You take the ferry here from Incheon? I have a granddaughter who goes to university there. Pretty girl. Smart, too.”

Cheeks heating, Jihoon realizes that he’s been quickly assessed as _young, single, and rich_. Which isn’t incorrect. But still. He likes to think he’s more than that, even if he doesn’t feel like anything lately.

The wind finally lets up as they walk in the shadow of a cliff. Jihoon’s skin tingles after a whole day of it relentlessly blowing against him. He sighs, realizing he _is_ kind of hungry. It’s been a while since he’s had a proper meal. “Is your restaurant the one with the green sign? I can walk with you there if you don’t mind the company.”

Jihoon’s upbringing of good manners and his hunger is outweighing the call of the mattress back at his rental house. He knows it would be good for him to go and try to socialize too, even if it’s just with the server. Being alone so much isn’t good for him. He came here to get better - or at least try to find a way out of bad habits.

The old woman beams at him, pleased. “Ah, so kind. But I am going to visit my sister not far from here but in the opposite direction of town. You must go to the restaurant though. My son and niece should be there. Since it’s the weekend we’re open late, too.”

Jihoon almost lets out a sigh of relief at the fact he won’t have to try to make any more polite small talk with this stranger. A small mercy.

Finally back onto the trail that winds up to the main road, Jihoon gives a respectful bow. “Thank you…”

“Mrs. Ahn.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Ahn, for the kind invite,” he says, offering an awkward smile. “I will eat well.”

The old woman gives him a smile and a wave then heads off in the opposite direction.

Following the sloping road down from the beach to the village, lush green foliage encroaching on either side of the mountain, Jihoon begins to wonder if this tiny island off the northwest coast is even real. Perhaps he’s crossed some sort of veil and this is really another world. There is an almost haunting quality to this island; like everything isn’t quite right, surreal with its forested mountains, sapphire waters and strange rock formations along the coast.

Getting out of the city for a while had been Wonwoo’s idea.

“You need a fresh perspective, new air and sights,” Wonwoo had said softly, taking a seat at the end of Jihoon’s bed. Curled up beneath the blankets, Wonwoo clearly hadn’t even known if Jihoon had been listening or even awake.

But Jihoon had been listening. It had become boring hiding from the world in his bed. He had been secretly glad his friend had come to check on him. It made him feel slightly less alone. Loved. Though he wouldn’t admit any of this of course. Maybe that was part of his problem.

After a sigh, Wonwoo quietly had suggested, “just get out of the city for a bit. You’re too stuck in your head here. You need some time away.”

Coming to the coast had been Jihoon’s idea.

It wasn’t a bad idea. He had never spent much time on the coast. Jihoon didn’t have fond childhood memories of his parents taking him to the beach and chasing him with sunscreen and yelling at him to wear a hat. He had thought the islands on the northwest coast were a good choice because it was different and new to him. And god, he needed something new in his life.

He had been there for two weeks and had discovered maybe he did, in fact, enjoy the seaside. Jihoon was finding a bit of a routine that mostly involved going on walks, reading, and listening to music on the beach. He found there was a certain comfort in the sound of the waves and birds, the salty smell of the wind. It was new and it was good. It was better than how he had been living.

At least here he felt compelled to go out, even if he was still just stuck in his head and slightly numb. Feeling like shit at the seaside with fresh air on your face was better than feeling like shit in your apartment in the centre of the city.

In the village, he finds Mrs. Ahn’s restaurant quickly enough. The village is (unsurprisingly) tiny. It really is just a smattering of tourist shops, houses, and essential local businesses creeping up the mountainside. And a lot of fishermen and their boats at the waterfront.

As he walks through the narrow streets, Jihoon gives polite smiles at the lingering looks he draws. Mrs. Ahn was right about there being no tourists yet, which only makes him stand out even more as a stranger.

In the village there is also a lingering touch from the military - the islands on the coast here had been essential once for defending from their northern counterpart. A reason he hadn’t disclosed to Wonwoo about choosing to come here was the fact he had always felt intrigued by these islands along their country’s coast since his own military service. He had served most of his time along the DMZ, and these islands were sometimes mentioned. Commonly marked and looked at on the maps they used. A strange in-between. 

On his second day on the beach, it had been clear and cloudless. Jihoon had been able to see the shores of the northern country. They were so close, and yet, a world away. It added to the feeling of this island is somewhat surreal, in between reality and something akin to magical.

With a sigh, giving into hunger and the knowledge this will be good for him, Jihoon pushes inside the small restaurant wearing his beach attire of sandals, shorts, and an oversized long-sleeved shirt. He is really getting into this vacation thing.

Luckily, as he glances around, taking in the somewhat cheesy décor and casual dress of the other customers, he finds it fits into the norm of the quiet seaside town.

He walks over to the bar and plops himself down on one of the swivelling stools. It creaks as he turns on it. That was going to get old fast. Wasn’t this bar supposed to be new? It didn’t matter - he was going to enjoy a cold beer (gross) and some real food. He is going to force himself to enjoy this if he must.

Jihoon had quit drinking upon Wonwoo’s suggestion that it was just making him sadder and that he was becoming dependent on it. That, of course, had made Jihoon quit cold right then and there just to prove to his friend that he wasn’t dependent, he was _fine_. He was broken on some fundamental level sure, but an alcoholic? Hell, no. He doesn't even like the taste of alcohol - he actually hates it. But the numbness it offers...

“What can I get you?” The bartender asks, walking towards him from behind the counter, drying off a glass. She is young and prettier than Jihoon had expected to find in a place like this. Her eye makeup is dark, lines extending from both her top and bottom lash lines, her lips red. She is completely incongruous with not only this bar, but the entire village, the whole damn island.

“Beer on tap, please,” he says, already swinging his bag off his shoulder and pulling his wallet out of it. He knows what is coming.

She smiles at him mirthlessly, understanding that her next question even if it was annoying, is anticipated. “Can I see ID please?”

Jihoon hands it over with a sigh. _Every damn time._

She takes it with a manicured hand, glancing between it and back at him. “If it helps, you look older in person,” she offers after a moment, popping her hip to the side. Jihoon spots a sparkly navel piercing between the tops of her fitted jeans and the bottom of her black Megadeth t-shirt. “This photo does not do you justice.” Her smile turns genuinely friendly as she hands it back to him.

Jihoon isn’t sure if she is flirting or not. He isn’t sure he knows what to do if she is. He hasn’t been genuinely flirted with in a long time. Part of that is his own fault, though. So many of his problems are his own damn fault. 

“Thanks,” he replies, putting his ID back into his wallet and then his bag, dropping the whole thing to the sand-covered hardwood floor. It makes a low thud with the books inside. He really had been overly ambitious with his beach reading today. “I guess.”

She tucks the towel she has been using to dry the glass into the band of her jeans and turns to the taps behind her to fill his order. When she turns back, glass full of foaming and bubbling amber beer, she smirks at him again as she sets it down. “You’re welcome. _I guess_.”

Jihoon has the grace to blush.

He sits there for a while, sipping his beer and looking around the small restaurant. It is the very start of tourist season, and though he wasn’t the only patron alone, he may be the only one not from the small seaside town. He doesn’t mind though. Not really. He has always found comfort in being alone, never lonely until his head got the better of him. It was a fine line to tread.

There is a group of young men about his age at a table in front of one of the windows. They are entirely too loud with their laughter for this kind of place on a Thursday night. They must have been here a while, Jihoon assesses after a few minutes of watching. They are drunk before nine. What a life. One he is on the way to joining though, so he tries not to judge.

After he finishes his first beer and orders a second, Jihoon decides maybe it is time to try to get back to work. He has been ignoring it thus far on his getaway from the city. But it is part of the reason he had agreed with Wonwoo to leave the city in the first place. He needs something more, something fresh to spark his creativity. 

He pulls out his notebook and flips it to the last page he’d been writing on, uncapping a pen.

He sighs.

Changing his location has only helped so much. It doesn’t fix whatever is tugging at his insides, it doesn’t really make him feel more like a person. His writing is shit and depressing. Jihoon wonders why he can’t be one of those people who work better when they feel like crap. Even if he does manage some stupid poetic line about how he feels, it is always only a few lines. Nothing he can really turn into something more. Not that he really wants to turn any of it into more, he isn’t sure he felt comfortable sharing that kind of stuff with anyone. Too vulnerable. Not terribly good, either. 

He glances down at the notebook and reads the last thing he’d written. _And yes, I will continue to blame myself, because why would anyone want to be around someone as fucked up as me?_

It is a bunch of bullshit and he knows it. He has to look past everything, try not to let the bad things in him come out too much, let them overcome everything else. He has been trying hard to move forward. And so far, the meds and coming to the seaside have been helping. He gets up in the morning. He showers. He goes outside. Jihoon won’t let himself fall deeper into the darkness - he can’t.

He looks around the bar again. He has always been able to find inspiration anywhere he looks, to turn the ordinary into something more, something special. Jihoon has always thought what made life good was all the little special moments, as opposed to the few big ones. The little ones are what tips the scale and they’re the moments most people can relate to - which is important in songwriting. But it is a lot fucking easier when you aren’t depressed.

“You want another?” The bartender asks, coming back over. She really is too pretty for a place like this, too much style and something entirely unsuited to this small seaside village and restaurant. She intrigues Jihoon. What exactly was a girl like this doing working here? She must have a story. Mrs. Ahn’s granddaughter is worthy of a song.

“Sure,” he responds, sliding his glass with nothing but the foam on the sides across the bar to her. He doesn’t really like drinking anything where he can taste the alcohol, but it was decent beer and he doesn’t have anywhere else to be. Who would care if he stays a bit longer? He doesn’t know a soul on this island. “Can I order food too?”

The bartender nods. “Of course. What can I get you?”

Jihoon orders food, forcing an awkward smile. When it comes it is hot and delicious, maybe more so from the long day at the seaside. That and the fact he’s been eating ramen and cereal since arriving. And drinking Coke, as always.

When he finishes eating he glances at the watch on his wrist. It’s a fancy one, one that costs more than some people’s cars, and one of the first things he’s ever splurged on. It’s already nine-thirty. Jihoon knows he should start heading back to his rental house before he drinks anymore. He doesn’t want to be drunk and walking home in the dark in case he gets lost. He’s always had a shit sense of direction.

“Can I get my bill?” Jihoon asks the bartender who stands a few feet away wiping down the counter. She still stands out like fish out of water here on this island. Jihoon wishes he was more confident, friendlier, was able to talk to her and learn about her. A friend would be a good thing. 

“Yeah, just one second,” she calls out without looking up. She turns to the back of the bar and types into the register before turning back to him with another pretty smile. She sets the paper on the counter between them. “You know Jihoon, I haven’t seen you around here before.”

The use of his first name so casually catches him off guard, and he looks at her and blinks slowly. The beer might be kicking in, too. “Uh, it’s my first time here.”

“Are you just visiting?”

Jihoon shrugs, pulling out his bank card from his wallet and setting it atop the counter. “I have a place nearby. I don’t know how long I’ll be staying.” He pauses, and reaches a hand up and pulls at his ear absently. “It was actually your grandmother who told me to come here. She kind of accosted me at the beach earlier.”

That pulls a laugh out of her, a full lovely sound. Not delicate, which he appreciates. “Well, I’m Ellie,” she offers, eyeing him carefully. She probably knows who he is, where he’s staying. She’ll learn more when her grandmother returns.

Jihoon wonders what she sees when looking at him. Her gaze isn’t pitying, but she’s hard to read, even for him. But he really doesn’t know anything about women, let alone pretty ones.

She smiles again, picking up his card and swiping it through the machine quickly. “Come by again if you need another drink. Or a meal.”

“Thanks, I just might do that.” He says. “Final question: where are the washrooms?”

Ellie points to the far back corner. “Over there. Have a good night.”

Jihoon says his goodbyes and stands, not quite steady on his feet. His face feels flushed, and the room spins for a few seconds before everything becomes steady again. Maybe he’s drunk. His tolerance has gone to shit since quitting.

He really does need to pee though. Damn beer. 

Picking up his things from the floor, Jihoon does his best to gain control of the situation. He’s barely more than buzzed. This is fine. He’s fine.

Taking a deep breath, filling his chest with false confidence Jihoon sets off across the restaurant to the far corner where the washrooms are. He weaves between tables that have been cleared and wiped down for the night. There aren’t many people here now, just that one table of loud drunk young men which he passes without a glance. Drunk Jihoon does not want to make new friends.

Finally, he makes it to the washroom. Again, damn beer.

Then he’s ready to go back to his rental place. He’s tired. So goddamn tired, he can feel it in his bones.

After, he exits the washroom, eager to get to his temporary home. He passes by the table of young men, who are still talking and laughing animatedly. He hopes to pass unnoticed.

In his rush, Jihoon almost steps on a pile of grey fabric that must have fallen off the back of a chair.

“Hey, you dropped your jacket,” Jihoon says, bending down and picking up the garment, hanging it on the back of the young man’s chair. It’s surprisingly heavy, made of some sort of weird heavy velvet or maybe leather, soft and smooth to the touch. It isn’t what Jihoon had been expecting.

The young man turns in his seat to look at Jihoon with pretty brown eyes. He is cuter than Jihoon had been expected. It is a bit disconcerting for someone who is both drunk and gay.

 _"Oh_ . Thank you,” The cute stranger says softly, reaching out and touching his jacket that Jihoon has draped over the back of the chair. He openly stares at Jihoon, his mouth left slightly open, as if in awe. It is off-putting. “Thank you, _so much_.”

“No problem,” Jihoon manages with a quick half-bow, stepping around the table towards the door.

He looks away from the stranger who continues to openly stare at him. Jihoon briefly wonders if the boy is a fan of his, somehow recognizing him, though he doubts it. Maybe he is just weird. Or drunk. Probably a mix. He’s clearly a local.

Then without another word, Jihoon darts for the exit, throwing his backpack over his shoulder. He’s exhausted and kind of embarrassed from this short visit to the village. He just wants to sleep and forget about this, at least for a little bit.

Jihoon doesn’t look back, but he can feel the stranger’s eyes on him long after he leaves the restaurant.

+

The next morning Jihoon is woken by the sound of someone knocking on his door. Incessantly.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He grumbles, rolling onto his side and pulling the blankets over his head. He’s never been a morning person. Probably has to do with the fact the witching hours are his most creative, often going to bed only when he’s completed the project he’s working on, released from its creative hold. Which is usually close to sunrise.

The knocking continues.

Jihoon is on an isolated island in the eastern edge of the Yellow Sea, far from cities and everyone he knows. He came here to get away from everything. _Why_ is someone knocking on the door of his rental house, waking him up? Someone has strayed from the plan. This cannot be happening.

Maybe something is wrong. Maybe someone needs help. Someone could be lost. Or it might be Mrs. Jung, the owner of this house.

Cursing, Jihoon rolls off the floor mattress and shoves his feet into slippers, heading to the door. His eyelids fight to open. His body is stiff, exhausted, still half-asleep. He’s almost sure there’s steam coming from his ears.

He flings open the door, rubbing the heel of his palm into his eye. He’s still more asleep than awake, and so, _so_ annoyed. “Hello? What do you want?”

“Oh gosh, did I wake you?” Blinks the handsome stranger. It’s the young man from the restaurant last night. The one who’s jacket he’d picked up and returned. The one who had stared at him with brown eyes as deep as the sea.

Jihoon rubs at his eyes some more. Trying to wake up, trying to make sure what he is seeing is real. “Yeah,” he manages, clearing the roughness of sleep from his throat. He pushes his hair back with his hand, suddenly realizing what a mess it likely is. Probably standing straight up and in every direction like a mad scientist. Or a troubled and crazed artist. “Can I help you?”

“Oh, yes!” The handsome stranger beams at him. He’s taller than Jihoon by a couple of inches, but otherwise not bigger. There’s a softness to his cheeks and his body that is inviting and perfectly countered by sharp eyes and jaw. Jihoon never had much of a type, but he isn’t blind. There’s something alluring, attractive about this stranger in an objective and easily appreciated way.

The stranger reaches into the pocket of his shorts, making Jihoon reassess him. The dark shorts are clearly for swimming with an unravelling once-white drawstring at the waist. The white shirt he wears is too big, the edges frayed. It all looks sunbleached and nearly worn-out. His sandals look like they’re barely holding together. But on his wrist and ankle are beaded bracelets, and what looks to be a repurposed fishhook dangles from one ear. And his strange grey spotted leather jacket is slung across his shoulders.

“This is for you,” the stranger says, pulling out a small box.

Jihoon stares at it, not bothering to hide his confusion that is bordering on concerned. _What the fuck is that?_

“I spent most of the night collecting the pearls and stones,” the stranger tells him, opening the box to reveal a necklace. It’s stunning. Tiny dark stones carved into beads with three pearls, two smaller on either side of a perfectly imperfect pearl the size of his thumbnail at the center. “And then I had to dig through my sister’s collection to find some fishing line. I wanted something practical that you wouldn’t lose and wouldn’t get in the way. You would be surprised how common it is for people to lose rings or earrings in the sea.”

Jihoon stares at the necklace, marvelling at its beauty. A gift from the sea, right down to the fishing line holding it together. There must be a mistake. “This is for _me_?”

“Yeah,” the stranger nods with a little smile. “I mean if that’s okay with you? Or would you prefer a proper wedding ring? I guess I could have asked first. I just wanted to surprise you with this.”

Jihoon’s mind is spinning. He has missed some critical piece of information. This doesn’t make any sense. “Wed-wedding ring?” He echoes, leaning onto the door frame for support.

“Well...we should...don’t you think we should get married by human customs as well?” The handsome stranger’s brows are slowly knitting together.

“ _What?_ ”

“Perhaps I’m doing this wrong,” the stranger says with a sigh, his shoulders deflating. “I’m Soonyoung. My pod and I live here in the summer but go up north to China for the winter. We’re married.”

It’s too early for this. Well, actually it might be almost noon, but Jihoon just woke up. His brain isn’t working. He kind of wants to slam the door shut and go back to bed.

“I’m Jihoon. We’re _not_ married.”

Soonyoung shakes his head, taking the necklace out of the box. Then he’s suddenly grabbing Jihoon’s shoulders, turning him around and putting the necklace around his throat, tying it closed. In what seems to be a complicated knot.

“What are you doing?” Jihoon demands, trying to step out of reach, but he’s too slow. Too tired. The necklace is already resting against his skin, the pearls sitting perfectly in the hollow where his collarbones meet. He turns around and shoots a glare at Soonyoung.

“I’ll admit I’m not that familiar with human marriage customs. I suppose they probably vary too, depending on where you’re from. I hadn’t considered that.” Soonyoung frowns at this revelation. “Regardless, I think we ought to do something to appease your side of things. Your family.”

“My family isn’t here,” Jihoon says. Then, “wait, no, we are _not_ married. Why do you even think this?”

Taking his weird jacket off his shoulders, Soonyoung holds it out between them. It’s not even a proper garment. It’s soft-looking heather grey covered in dark spots that cluster so close it seems nearly black at the center. “You returned my skin to me. You could have taken it, could have done a million cruel and unmentionable things. But you returned it to me!”

Curious and more confused than ever, Jihoon reaches out and runs a hand along the material. It’s silky smooth and seemingly humming. Something about it is alive like magic is embedded into its soft fibres. This is _not_ a jacket. Jihoon hasn’t been listening. He pulls his hand away like he’s been burned. “Your _skin_?”

“My sealskin. My coat. ” Soonyoung nods. “I’m a selkie.”

 _Selkie_. Jihoon’s eyes narrow as he tries to call the meaning of the word to mind. A mythical creature. Kind of like a mermaid. An in-between creature with the body of a seal. But they have the ability to take off their seal coats and go to land. Or something.

“ _Okay…_..I have a really busy day planned,” Jihoon says in a soft and slow voice. He needs to get this bastard clearly living in a fantasy world off his rental property. “I better be getting to all my work. Maybe I’ll see you around the village?”

Soonyoung blinks at him, trying to make sense of this change in direction but then nods. “Oh. Of course, you have work. I should have known. I’ve kept you too long.” He straightens, smiling broadly. “Shall I come by tonight?”

“I actually have plans tonight,” Jihoon lies with a regretful sigh. “So um...goodbye.”

Soonyoung nods, turning to go with a wave. “Another time then. Soon!”

The door shuts before he can say anything else.

With a heavy sigh, Jihoon goes to the fridge and takes out a bottle of Coke. He unscrews the cap and takes a long sip. He checks his phone. It’s barely after ten.

To the empty house, Jihoon asks, “what the fuck was that?”

And then he realizes he’s still wearing the pearl necklace.


	2. Isn't it odd? Isn't it silly now that you know? Someone this slippery can't let you go

No matter what shitty things happen, Jihoon has music.

He’s trying out what could be a new song on his guitar and drinking. Mostly he’s just sitting on the step of his rental house, looking at the little courtyard and contemplating how the hell he ended up here. Like, in life.

He’s made a lot of mistakes. He knows this. He won’t deny it, he doesn’t think there’s any point in trying to point the blame elsewhere. Retrospectively, it’s so easy to judge and criticize. Why wasn’t he kinder? Why didn’t he make more of an effort? Why didn’t he spend more time with his friends and family? Why wasn’t he more generous?

Jihoon also knows it’s bad for him to fixate on the past - on things he cannot change. But god, it’s so hard sometimes.

Even from the steps of the house, he can hear the birds of the sea crying out as they fly overhead. This island is a key migratory spot on the yearly flights of so many species, not just birds. Even seals he saw on a brochure on the ferry. _Seals_.

Jihoon takes a long drink from his coke (and rum) then sighs. It’s been a few days now but he can’t stop thinking about the bizarre incident.

 _Soonyoung_ . What the hell is his deal exactly? Maybe Jihoon should go and ask about the other man in the village, the locals will surely offer some insight. It can’t be normal for someone to go around claiming they're a damn mythical creature. _A selkie._

Feeling a little stupid and a lot like Bella Swan, Jihoon pulls his phone out of his pocket and types in _selkie_ . _2,790,000 results_. Shit.

_In mythology, selkies or selkie folk meaning "seal folk" are mythological beings capable of therianthropy - changing from seal to human form by shedding their skin. They are found in folktales and mythology originating around the world but primarily from the Northern Isles of Scotland._

Brows furrowing, Jihoon scrolls down. As a kid, he was into dragons and ancient Korean warriors, not mermaids and the like. It appears he’s missed out on a lot. He has a lot to learn.

He pauses when he reads the words _selkie skin_. Isn’t that what Soonyoung had been going on about? Isn’t that what he claims Jihoon picked up and returned to him?

_In most stories, a selkie takes off their coat/skin to dance and sing onshore. It is then someone (usually a young fisherman) comes along and steals their coat, capturing the selkie to do their bidding. The selkie is forced to obey the human, and they marry, the selkie held hostage on land. The selkie is miserable. Eventually, they find where the human has hidden the skin and they escape back to the sea._

“Fuck.” Jihoon sets down his phone. He takes another sip of his drink. 

If this is the usual story, Jihoon sure didn’t follow it. He returned Soonyoung’s “coat” to him. He wouldn’t have even considered taking it if all of this was real and he’d known. But now Soonyoung, who claims to be a selkie, a seal folk, thinks by doing this small act of kindness they are married. Jihoon doesn’t get it.

Not that he believes Soonyoung. He’s clearly making it up, though Jihoon doesn’t know why. Whether it’s psychological or just a colourful local. Maybe it’s a thing he does for tourists, it makes for a good story to take home from the island. He does have a seal skin he carries around. It really adds to the authenticity.

Maybe Jihoon should ask someone else about Soonyoung. But he doesn’t know anyone else on his island besides his landlord, old Mrs. Ahn, and her granddaughter Ellie.

Finishing off his drink, Jihoon sets aside his guitar. He stands and stretches, reaching his hands above his head. He lets out of a low groan. Ellie will have answers. She must know who Soonyoung is, he was at the restaurant at the same time as him.

Putting his phone and wallet into his short’s pocket Jihoon heads off towards the village in search of answers.

The entire island is all hills and with roads that curve horrendously, but Jihoon is getting used to it. He really should rent a car or something though. It’s not like he can’t afford to.

A few of the locals give him a nod or a friendly wave as he walks through the village.

“Ah, handsome young man, care to entertain an old woman?” Calls a stooped figure sitting in front of one house, face covered in a hat. They have a knife in one hand, peeling a bulb of garlic.

“I’m just heading to Mrs. Ahn’s restaurant,” Jihoon tells the old woman, taking the clove of garlic she holds out to him. He chews it, its strong flavour burning and clearing his sinuses. “But I don’t mind stopping. Maybe you can help me.”

“Maybe. What is it that you need help with?”

“Do you know Soonyoung? I’m sorry but I don’t know his family name….He’s about my age,” Jihoon says, trying to think about what else he knows about the strange man who claims to be a mythical creature and also married to him. He really doesn’t know much. “He’s handsome, sharp eyes, big smiles. He says he lives here in the summer.”

The old woman chuckles, a reedy sound, and nods. “Ah, of course. Soonyoung and his family have been coming to this island and the ones nearby for as long as anyone can remember. They’re part of this island’s history and highly respected. You should remember that, young man.”

Jihoon blinks, his mouth hanging open as he searches for a response. He didn’t know what kind of answers he was going to get, but well, that wasn’t it. “Ah, I understand.” He doesn’t. “I will be respectful.”

With a smile from beneath her bamboo hat, the old woman asks, “you going to see Miss Ellie?”

It takes Jihoon a minute to comprehend what he’s really being asked, and when he does his cheeks flush and he’s shaking his head. “I was just going there for supper.”

The old woman knows he’s lying, her smile growing. “Miss Ellie is such a pretty girl. Good head on her shoulders too.”

“Please excuse me,” Jihoon says with a bow and a nervous laugh. “Enjoy your evening.”

“You too, young man.”

Jihoon darts down the road to the restaurant, trying to will the blush from his face. He knows it’s a logical thing to be teased about, but god, it’s embarrassing to be so misjudged. But he sure as hell isn’t about to go correcting some strange old island lady that no matter how pretty the local girls are he isn’t interested in them _like that._

He pushes into the restaurant with a shake of his head, trying to remember his original mission. _Information on Soonyoung_. 

“Hey Jihoon,” Ellie greets him. She’s leaning against the counter on her phone, the restaurant is empty except for one old man near the back sipping coffee. Jihoon realizes it’s mid-afternoon. Not their busy hours. “Nice to see you again.”

He hops onto the stool across the counter from her, determined to get answers. “Hey, can I ask you something kind of weird?”

No looking up from her phone she sighs. “This is really sweet but I’m not interested in-”

“No!” Jihoon glares at her. God this entire village has an agenda. “It’s about Soonyoung. I assume you know him.”

That makes Ellie set down her phone. “Yeah, of course, I do. What about him?”

Jihoon shifts on his stool, making an obnoxious squeak. He doesn’t know how to approach this delicately. He also doesn’t want to try any attempt of friendship with Ellie who seems entirely too cool. “What exactly is his deal?”

Manicured fingers tapping the bar counter, Ellie’s gaze flickers around the restaurant for a few seconds, avoiding Jihoon. Today she’s in a black tank top and high-waisted jean shorts and more gold chains hang from her neck than Jihoon can bother counting. “He um…. has a big personality. Sometimes his social skills can be off, too. Did he say something ….weird?”

Jihoon frowns. She’s avoiding the question. “Yes. You could say that.”

“He was probably just fooling around,” Ellie offers with a shrug. But it seems put on and ingenuine. “Do you want anything to drink?”

He’s already had a few drinks today, enjoying the warm weather sitting outside his place but another one hurt. “Sure, thanks.”

Ellie goes and fills a glass till the top is bubbling with foam and sets it down on a coaster in front of him. She seems tense, avoiding his gaze. Something is up.

“You’re not giving me much to work with,” Jihoon says. He takes a sip of cold beer. “Am I like...in danger?”

That makes Ellie laugh and she loosens up. “No, no, nothing like that. Soonyoung is harmless. He is just….different. Nothing to worry about.”

 _Different_. That’s one way to put it.

Pulling the pearl and stone necklace out as far as he can, Jihoon says, “He made me this.”

“It’s so pretty!” Ellie leans closer to get a better look. “God, it is absolutely gorgeous. The pearls and stones! That must have taken forever to carve and not break them.”

“It sounds like it didn’t take him long,” Jihoon says. “Maybe Soonyoung has many talents. Other particularities?”

“Hmmm. Maybe.” Ellie is still looking at the necklace. Jealous or simply impressed, Jihoon can’t tell. 

He is tired of playing this game. He’s never been good at talking to girls or playing word games. “He seems to think he’s a mythical sea creature.” He says bluntly, tipping his head back to take a long pull on his beer. It really is quite good for carbonated piss.

Ellie’s eyes widen. “ _Shit_. He told you that?”

“Yeah.”

“That damn boy doesn’t have a subtle bone in his body. As soon as he sees an attractive face, I swear to god. Oh god, I am _so_ sorry.”

“So, he’s lying right?”

Ellie’s eyes flicker to his. A pregnant pause follows. “Yes?”

And suddenly Jihoon is flooded with doubt. It hits his system like a shot of whiskey, burning through his body fast and settling in his stomach. It doesn’t mix well with the beer.

“I don’t know what to think,” Jihoon admits. His logical mind is saying creatures of myth are just that - myth. But the odd warning from the old woman and Ellie’s poor attempt at conviving him Soonyoung is a liar….it’s not looking good for him. “This island is weird. You’re all so weird here.”

With a weak smile Ellie nods. “Yeah, I know. That’s part of the charm though. It will grow on you.”

+

A few days later Jihoon becomes familiar with the word _regret_.

Hiking up the cliffside seemed like a poor choice an hour in, and still not at the top. It just kept getting windier the higher Jihoon gets. He should have just rented a car or motorbike or something, walking was _stupid_ at this incline.

Eventually, he does make it to the top, wind whipping across his face as he looks out at the sea. It’s a clear day, the sky and water both absolutely cerulean. There’s a few boats or ships far out and a group of seals playing and lying on the rocks on the other end of the bay. He can even see the far off coast of North Korea.

Legs aching, Jihoon pulls out his phone and takes some photos. The seals are too far for the camera on his phone to get a good picture, a shame. He’s been doing a lot of interest searching about seals and selkies and well….seals are kind of adorable. He’d like to get some pictures of the ones here at some point.

He sends the good photos off to Wonwoo and his dad. They’ll like to see he’s actually doing stuff and not just run away to be miserable elsewhere.

It’s too windy to read or write, so after sitting and pulling out his snacks and drink from his backpack (almost losing it over the side in the wind) he decides to head back down. At least going down will be easier. Hopefully.

He loses himself in his thoughts as he descends. Birds sing in the trees around him and Jihoon joins them in a whistle, making an easy melody from their song. It’s a simple few notes but he likes it.

He’s still whistling, despite being slightly out of breath when he finally steps back onto the trail down to the beach.

“Jihoon!”

He freezes.

Jogging across the dark wet sand wearing a bagging pair of shorts tied at the waist and his weird spotted seal coat in one hand is Soonyoung. His dark hair is still wet from swimming, water droplets falling from his neck onto his shoulders and collarbones. And he’s smiling as brightly as the midday sun and it’s nothing short of spectacular.

It’s a sight Jihoon is _not_ prepared for.

“Soonyoung.” He glances around. The miles of beach are deserted for as far as Jihoon can see. And yet here is the hot weirdo who’s decided to take to him. Of course. “What are you doing here?”

“I was out swimming and spotted you at the top of the cliff. You looked so tiny!” Soonyoung says, slinging his seal coat across his shoulders. It’s wet too. He runs a hand through his wet hair pushing it off his forehead.

“I didn’t see you.” Jihoon hadn’t seen anyone on the coastline besides a few boats that were barely more than dots on the horizon and the seals on the rocks down the coast. Odd.

“Do you want to go swimming?” Soonyoung asks, practically buzzing with energy. “Or we can go beachcombing? The coastline stretches for miles, I’m sure we’d find something cool.”

And maybe the isolation of the island is finally getting to Jihoon because he can’t seem to find a reason to refuse. “Alright,” he says, bending down to take off his sandals. He sinks his feet into the cool sand, soothing them after his morning hiking. “Let’s walk and see what we find.”

Beaming, Soonyoung nods in agreement and they start down the coastline.

“Have you thought about what you would like to do for a human marriage ceremony?” Soonyoung asks after a bit. “I mean, I don’t want to push you but I thought it might be nice. Best of both worlds.”

“Oh, uh, not really,” Jihoon replies non-committedly. He’s been pushing all thoughts of Soonyoung and his bizarre belief in their ‘marriage’ out of his head as best as he could. Which was to say exceptionally badly. “I don’t think we need one. In fact, I think maybe there’s been a bit of a mistake. I hardly know you.”

“You can get to know me,” Soonyoung says, reaching down and pulling what appears to be a colourful fish hook out of the sand and holding it for Jihoon to see. “I think we would make excellent friends.”

“Friends!” Jihoon repeats eagerly. “Yes, friends. Let’s just be friends before anything else, okay?

Soonyoung stands, pocketing the fishhook. “I mean, we’re already married, but if you want to focus on being friends for now I understand.”

“Okay,” Jihoon says with a nod. “Good.”

They continue walking, the sun warming their skin, despite the breeze. Jihoon steps into the sea, waves splashing against his ankles as they roll into shore. He doesn’t know what to say or do, just focuses on beachcombing, and trying to figure out what kind of fucking friendship he is supposed to have with a handsome stranger who thinks he’s a mythical creature. And married to him.

“So, where are you from?” Soonyoung asks after a few minutes of walking. He has a shell in one hand, running his thumb along its scalloped edges. “Not the island, I can tell.”

“Busan, but I live in Seoul now.”

“I’ve never been to the mainland,” Soonyoung tells him with a tilt of his head. “I imagine there are so many people, especially in the city. I’ve seen it on television.”

Jihoon frowns, the wind blowing his hair in his eyes. “You’ve never been to the mainland?”

“No,” Soonyoung says, squinting at him through the sun and wind. “Remember, I told you my family lives here for part of the year and goes north to China for the winters. To the Gulf of Pohai.”

Jihoon doesn’t know what to say to that. He kind of wants to clap to show how impressed he is by Soonyoung’s commitment to his weird selkie story.

“What do you do in the city?” Soonyoung asks, filling the silence. “Are you still in school? How old are you, I guess I should ask. I’m twenty-four.”

“I’m the same age. I’m a musician.”

“Really?” Soonyong brightens - if that’s even possible. “I love music. I sing all the time. My pod thinks it’s annoying.”

By ‘pod’ Jihoon assumes he means ‘family’. Another odd selkie thing. He chooses to ignore it and instead asks, “are you any good?”

In reply, Soonyoung sings, “ _I want to match you to my heart, like the sky and sun at dawn, we're becoming similar along with time, look at us that will become one in the end_.”

“You have a nice voice,” Jihoon is forced to admit. From an analytical and professional standpoint, he’s very impressed. From a lyrical perspective, he’s wary. “You must never shut up if they find you annoying.”

Chuckling, Sooyoung shrugs. “Sometimes. I often go off by myself though. To sing, to swim, to fish. I like to spend time alone too. I think that’s just part of being at home in the sea, though. So big, so blue. Even when you’re by yourself at sea, you’re never truly alone.”

Pausing their walk, Jihoon’s brows knit together and he slings his bag off his back and pulls out his notebook and a pen. “Can I write that down?”

Soonyoung shrugs. “Sure.”

In a messy scrawl, Jihoon jots down the words. Glancing up at Soonyoung, who is still wearing nothing but his worn-out too-big shorts and his seal coat around his neck, Jihoon considers writing more. _What a strange stranger/with pretty dark eyes and an earnest smile/ at home at the seaside/at home by my side_. He stops. He’s romanticizing things that aren’t even there. He’s being stupid. He doesn’t know anything about love. What the hell is wrong with him?

Jihoon returns his notebook to his bag. “We should turn back. We’ve been walking for an hour.”

“Okay,” Soonyoung says, oblivious to the million and two thoughts that are dancing around Jihoon’s mind about what is going on between them. “Are you hungry?”

“No,” Jihoon lies. He’s so stupid. He always does this. Something terrible has switched and he knows it’s stupid and that’s what makes it worst. But he can’t stop this terrible, overwhelming feeling that’s begun to encompass him. He hates being like this. Soonyoung didn’t do anything wrong. This is all his own fault.

He needs to lie down. He needs to scream into his pillow in frustration, in confusion. Why can’t he just be happy? Why can’t he let himself enjoy things? Why can’t he be normal? He needs to be alone. He can’t let Soonyoung, this odd stranger see him like this. “I’m tired. I better get home.”

Turning back to follow their footprints in the sand, Soonyoung hums. “Do you want me to cook you supper? I’m not any chef, but I’ll do my best!”

“No,” Jihoon says, the knot in his stomach twisting tighter and tighter. He’s sweating, his hands are threatening to shake. “I just need to rest.”

By the time they make it back to the main beach, with the path to the road and Jihoon’s rental house, he’s exhausted. Soonyoung has been chatting away, and all he’s been able to do is nod. He’s so tired. He’s so overwhelmed. And it’s stupid, he knows it’s stupid because there is nothing to be worked up about. Maybe that’s the worst part - knowing he’s making a big deal out of nothing and not being able to stop it.

“Do you want me to walk you home?” Soonyoung asks when they start up the path to the main road. He knows something is wrong, his gaze lingering on Jihoon’s taut frame. Jihoon is shrinking in on himself, stiff and uncomfortable. “I really don’t mind.”

“No.” Jihoon bites his lip. It doesn’t hurt, though he’s sure he’s nearly drawing blood. He wishes it would hurt. “But thank you for the offer.”

“I’ll see you soon.” Soonyoung waves goodbye. Not a question. A promise.

+

It takes nearly two days for Jihoon to feel better. And his definition of better is no longer crippled by the sense of impending doom crushing chest and his brain bullying the shit out of him.

He’s lying in bed staring at the ceiling when Wonwoo calls him.

“Oh good you’re alive,” Wonwoo greets him with a low chuckle. “I was getting concerned.”

“I’m alive,” Jihoon confirms. “Physically.”

“That’s dark,” Wonwoo replies. “So I can assume things are not going well today?”

“That’s correct.”

“What about yesterday?”

Jihoon sighs. “Bad.”

“Day before that?”

The memory of his hike, and running into Soonyoung, beachcombing flickers. “It was good until it wasn’t.”

A pause from Wonwoo. “Have you eaten?”

“Crackers.”

“Drank anything other than cola?”

“No.”

“ _Showered_?” Wonwoo presses with increased concern.

“No,” Jihoon admits with a sigh. He’s disgusting. He knows he’s disgusting and he can’t even make himself care enough to do anything about it. Just lay there in his own filth and self-loathing. “That would be a good idea.”

“It would,” Wonwoo agrees. “Ji?”

“Yeah?”

“Please shower and eat something. If you don’t I will take the first ferry over to that island and bathe you myself.”

A horrifying and embarrassing picture.

“Fine,” Jihoon says. He sits up. “I will shower. I’ll even wash my hair.”

“Put on clean clothes after, okay?”

“Okay.” Jihoon stares at his suitcase and the clothes spilling out of it. There should be clean stuff in there somewhere. “I will do that.”

Wonwoo hums in approval. “Have you made any friends on the island? Are there many tourists there yet?”

“There’s not really tourists yet,” Jihoon says, getting up and going to his suitcase. He finds a clean pair of shorts and a shirt that still smells like laundry soap. “But I guess I’ve made a friend.” He thinks of Ellie. Then of Soonyoung. “A friend and a half.”

Wonwoo laughs through the phone. “That’s nice to hear. What are they like?”

Jihoon thinks of bizarre but handsome Soonyoung and his seal coat. “Insane.” He thinks of Ellie, too pretty for this island. “Chic.”

“They sound interesting,” Wonwoo continues to laugh. “Maybe you should go see them. I’m sure they’d be happy to see you.”

Soonyoung’s eager smile pops to mind. “Yeah,” Jihoon sighs. “I think you’re right.”

After a moment, Wonwoo asks, “what about work?”

“What about it?”

Jihoon can hear the hesitation in his best friend’s voice. “Have you gotten anything done?”

“No, not really,” Jihoon admits. “I’m just in a slump. I’m trying. I’ve been trying.”

“Don’t push yourself,” Wonwoo tells him softly. “I’m sure when it comes it will all start flowing better than before.”

Grabbing his clothes and heading to the bathroom Jihoon rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I know. When it rains it, it pours.”

“Trust in the process.”

“The sea is helping,” Jihoon says, pulling his shirt off. “I swear it is. Now I’m going to go shower. Text me.”

“Alright,” Wonwoo chuckles. “Go and shower, you nasty. Love you, bye.”

After Jihoon scrubs a few day’s worth of dirt and sadness from his skin, he puts on his clean clothes and wanders into the kitchen for something to eat. He first pours himself a glass of water because _health_ or whatever.

Then there’s a knock on his door.

Jihoon lets out a groan. There is only one person who has come knocking on his door on this damn island.

“Hi!” Soonyoung beams at him. He’s in the same ratty pair of shorts from a few days ago, but at least has on a faded t-shirt that says _Ongjin County_. The seal coat is across his shoulders. And he is holding a codfish that’s almost half his size. “You smell good! Can I come in?”

Choosing to ignore the massive fish, Jihoon considers the question. _Friendship_. Jihoon wants friends. He told Wonwoo he would try. He should be social, though he’s never really let his friends hang out at his apartment in Seoul. But this house isn’t really his, so maybe it matters less.

“Yeah,” he says, stepping back. The sun is setting, meaning it’s a lot later than he had realized, especially considering how long the days have become. “Come in. I was just going to make something to eat.”

“I can make you something if you’re still not feeling well!”

Jihoon freezes. “I wasn’t sick.”

Soonyoung narrows his eyes. “What? Yes, you were. I could tell. You should let me cook for you. Build up your strength.”

Jihoon doesn’t have the energy to protest.

They go into the kitchen and Jihoon collapses into a chair while Soonyoung begins to ransack the kitchen. It’s been updated just like the rest of the house, but it’s still simple. It has the essentials in a neat and tidy way and nothing more. 

“I’m not going to lie,” Soonyoung says slapping the fish onto the counter. “I’m not much of a cook. However, whatever I lack in skill I will make up in enthusiasm.”

“Great.” Jihoon deadpans.

But Soonyoung, blessed with such a lovely smile, grins. Then he grabs a knife, which is a bit unsettling until he turns back to the fish.

Jihoon is still tired, still doesn’t feel great, and just sits there and watches. He likes seeing Soonyoung in his kitchen. Soonyoung washes rice and puts it on to cook. Then digs through Jihoon’s fridge, pulling out vegetables and kimchi.

“I’m a big fan of human food,” Soonyoung tells him, popping a cherry tomato into his mouth. “But I’ve never had a reason to learn more than the basics. But I told Ellie I wanted to make you feel better and she suggested cooking for you. And then she gave me some pointers. And we watched like two whole videos.”

Jihoon’s eyes widened. He had figured showing up at his door with fish was a weird selkie spouse thing - if he was willing to indulge in Soonyoung’s bizarre claim. The fact he went and talked to Ellie is...concerning. “What did she say?”

“To tell you to have low expectations.”

“That sounds like her,” Jihoon laughs, shaking his head. “Anything else?”

Knife in hand, Soonyoung smirks. “Yeah, she told me you were asking about me. _Cute_ ~”

“I was trying to gauge what kind of weirdo you are.”

“What did you find?”

“You’re a lunatic and can't act with a normal mind,” Jihoon says, but his lips curl into the tiniest of smiles. “You’re insane.”

With a fish fillet in one hand, Soonyoung goes and rinses it in the sink. “Fine, if you think I’m insane I will just be that.” And then he takes a bite out of the raw fish.

“You’re so weird,” Jihoon shakes his head, slightly repulsed. “So weird.”

By the time the meal is done cooking the sun has set. Jihoon finds candles in a cupboard and lights them. They eat the meal on the living room floor which is surprisingly good.

It should be awkward, but Jihoon genuinely doesn’t mind the presence of the other man. Soonyoung has a bizarre energy to him, just like the rest of this island. But it is growing on Jihoon, drawing him in despite his better judgment. Or maybe being alone for so many days is taking its toll on him.

“What’s all this stuff?” Soonyoung asks between bites. He gestures to the keyboard and other equipment piled around the room that has been mostly ignored since being brought to this island.

“Music stuff.”

“Oh,” Soonyoung’s eyes return to the keyboard. “Can you play something for me?”

“Like what?”

“Whatever you feel at this exact moment. Something that you think fits us.”

Jihoon lifts a brow. “You’re so weird.”

Soonyoung grins in return.

When he finishes eating Jihoon goes over to his keyboard and turns it on. He already knows what song he’s going to play. He’s been reflecting on these stupid books and movies a lot, much to his own dismay. But despite all the literal garbage that is Twilight, Bella’s Lullaby really is something lovely.

Jihoon plays without much effort, his muscle memory carrying him through without any sheet music or recent listening of the song. It feels good to play. Jihoon breathes and lets himself get lost in the music, something he hasn’t done in months.

“Wow my husband is so talented,” Soonyoung says when the song finishes. “I loved it. Thank you for playing for me.”

“It was nothing.” Jihoon returns to his spot on the floor. He feels so much better than he did when Wonwoo had called. He forces his next words, reaching and grabbing his pearl necklace. He hasn't taken it off yet. “Thank you for listening. And for cooking. And for keeping me company.”

Soonyoung shrugs, a hand stroking his sealskin absently. “You’re welcome. I like doing stuff for you. I like being around you and talking to you. Plus, it gives me a break from my pod, which is sometimes needed.”

Giving in to the strange delusion, Jihoon decides there’s no point fighting it anymore. “Aren’t they like your family?”

“Yeah, but we’re not all related by blood, so less of a family in human terms. It’s more like we’re all so committed to one another and to keeping everything safe and well. It’s a group understanding. Mutual respect for everyone because we all know we have our roles to play and keep the pod happy.”

“That sounds nice.”

“It is.”

Jihoon stares at one of the candles beside him, its flame flickering. It’s getting darker with each passing minute. “I don’t think I’ve ever had such security in any of my relationships,” he admits. “Family, friends, or romantically.”

“That’s sad. But maybe that’s why you’ve come here to heal,” Soonyoung says softly.

“What?” Jihoon turns his gaze back at the other man and frowns. He hasn’t told a soul besides Wonwoo why he was coming here, and he never used the word _heal_. “What the hell do you mean?”

“We’re married,” Soonyoung says as if that’s an answer. He takes in Jihoon’s facial expression then continues. “What I mean is, you came here hurting. The sea can tell, so I can tell. You came here looking for something more. Somehow, our paths were intertwined. Maybe we were destined to meet. I don’t know how to explain it so you will understand, but there is deeper magic within the sea and within both you and me than either of us can ever comprehend.”

Jihoon doesn’t know what to say to that. Part of him wants to laugh cynically and push Soonyoung away. Another part of him desperately believes that maybe there is magic, and maybe coming to the sea has and _will_ help. And Soonyoung isn’t living in a fantasy world and he is in fact a selkie like he claims.

“I don’t think the sea can fix whatever is wrong with me.” A painfully honest confession to someone who is basically a stranger.

“You have to want it,” Soonyoung says with a small smile. “You have to believe.”

A sigh escapes Jihoon.

“Besides, now that we’re married I will do my best to help you. Selkie husband! You are my ride or die!”

“Excuse me?”

Soonyoung’s smile falters. “Uh, Ellie told me to say that.”

And for the first months, Jihoon laughs.


	3. Like the ocean's dancing with a storm I will dance with you

Without him noticing, Soonyoung quickly fills a lonely gap that he hadn’t realized existed until it is gone. Wonwoo does though.

“What have you been up to?” Wonwoo asks when Jihoon finally answers his phone. He’s been busy, days filled more often than not with Soonyoung-induced adventures. It’s early enough in the morning he is still alone. “Should I be concerned?”

“No,” Jihoon laughs. “I’ve been trying to do more, that’s all. Forcing myself to enjoy nature. Hanging out.”

The truth is, despite the odd circumstances, he has found a friend. Soonyoung takes him exploring the island and brings him food (which may be some weird selkie courtship thing, but Jihoon digresses). Mostly Soonyoung offers him companionship. Friendship. Jihoon didn’t realize how much he was missing out on until Soonyoung’s annoying ass was always checking on him.

“Well, I’m glad you’re having fun,” Wonwoo tells him. “Just don’t forget about me.”

“I could never,” Jihoon replies honestly, heading into the small kitchen. “Though you might have to fight Soonyoung for me.”

“Soonyoung?”

He holds in a curse. He hadn’t meant to mention his newly proclaimed husband. Keeping his life on the mainland and his life on the island separate seemed to be the smart thing to do. Otherwise, things were going to get messy. Confusing. Wonwoo wasn’t here, he couldn’t be expected to understand the pull of the island and the sea, the relentless optimism and insanity that was Soonyoung.

“Yes,” Jihoon manages, trying to sound blasé. “Soonyoung. Have I not mentioned him? His family live here for part of the year.”

“And you’re friends?” Wonwoo is clearly grinning into the phone.

“Something like that,” Jihoon admits, fingers going to pearl necklace around his neck. He still hasn’t taken it off, not even to shower. “He is interesting. You’d like him, I think.”

He hadn’t thought much of it, but once he says it, Jihoon knows it’s true. Wonwoo _would_ like Soonyoung. He’d like his silliness, his carefree yet determined behaviour.

“I’m glad you have a friend, Ji,” Wonwoo says. “Truly. I don’t mind sharing, no worries.”

He turns his phone to speaker and sets it on the counter, turning to his coffee pot. He will need the energy to keep up with whatever Soonyoung has planned. While he has days he can't get out of bed, his biggest battle right now is fatigue. “Excuse me, I have _two_ friends here. And all the ahjummas and ahjussis like me!”

“Mister popular,” Wonwoo laughs. “Well, I’m glad. You sound happier. Genuinely.”

And Jihoon must admit he is. At least, compared to when he first came here. Nothing is easy, some days are harder. But now he is less stuck inside himself, less sharp edges, no longer ready to attack. He doesn’t want to attribute it all to Soonyoung or Ellie, nor the island and sea, but coming here has helped. At least, a bit. Maybe it's all of it together, a change he needed.

He doesn’t dare hope it lasts.

“Thanks,” he says. “I think I am. At least, sometimes.”

Half an hour later Jihoon is sitting on his front steps with his second cup of coffee when the glorious sight of mostly naked Soonyoung enters the courtyard. As always, his sealskin is draped across his shoulders and he’s wearing the same pair of ratty swimming shorts. Jihoon chokes at the sight and hot coffee burns his throat. He has failed to adapt to his friend showing up shirtless all the time.

“Let’s go swimming!” Soonyoung says, his skin still glistening with water droplets from the sea. He’s smiling as bright as the midmorning sun and Jihoon is scared to look directly at it because of the damage that may ensue. He’s not ready for anything more than friendship. “It’s the first hot day of summer!”

Smirking into his mug, Jihoon cannot help but tease. “Are seals like dogs?” 

Soonyoung’s smile doesn’t falter. “What?”

“You follow me around like a lost dog.”

“Oh,” Soonyoung stops. His shoulders droop ever so slightly. “Do you want me to go? Was I coming on too strong? I’m sorry. I can come back another day if you prefer.”

Jihoon shakes his head, his lips curling into the tiniest of smiles. He’s been remembering how to genuinely smile along with laugh in the weeks since meeting Soonyoung. Small steps in the right direction. “No. You’re fine. Stay, please.”

“You sure?”

The question takes Jihoon aback for a second. He’s not used to people caring about him. Soonyoung may be a weirdo, but his friendship and affection do seem sincere. He is unlike anyone Jihoon has ever met before. And not just the claiming to be a selkie thing. Soonyoung just sees the world differently. He is passionate and full of energy – until he isn't. More than once now he has fallen asleep in Jihoon’s living room when running around only minutes before.

“Yes,” he nods. “I’m sure. Come inside for a minute while I get ready.”

“Okay.”

Jihoon tilts his cup back and downs his coffee then stands and waves for Soonyoung to follow. It really is too hot to wait out in the sun. With the heat would come tourists. Then they would no longer be alone on the shore of the island.

Inside, Jihoon sets his cup down in the kitchen sink. “Help yourself to a drink or snack if you want.”

“I’m good, but thanks.” Soonyoung takes a seat, pushing his damp hair back, combing through it with his fingers. It is a simple and familiar gesture – Soonyoung’s hair is usually damp, fresh from swimming, despite the cold water. But Jihoon cannot help how his gaze lingers on how Soonyoung’s biceps flex, how his eyes flutter close, how his chest rises and falls as he sighs.

He does his best to ignore these thoughts. Instead, Jihoon focuses on the tasks at hand. He pulls the shirt he slept in off, heading for the bedroom. He finds a clean one and a pair of swimming shorts. His backpack is laying open beside the floor mattress and grabs that before heading back to the kitchen.

“I’m just going to bring a snack,” he says, rummaging around the tiny kitchen for supplies. It’s better stocked now that he has Soonyoung coming by every few days and checking in on him. More often than not Soonyoung brings him food, chiding him whenever it’s mid-afternoon and Jihoon admits to consuming nothing but Coke. “We can barbecue when we get back later, what do you think?”

“Sounds good. Did you take your meds?”

Jihoon freezes with an arm in the fridge. “What?”

Soonyoung points to the pill bottle on the counter beside where he’s been sitting. “They have your name on the bottle and say once a day. Did you already take your daily dose?”

“No,” Jihoon admits shutting the fridge more aggressively than necessary. His eyes flicker to Soonyoung’s open and honest ones. He’s being kind. He’s doing what friends do. Jihoon tells himself that Soonyoung doesn’t _care_ about the pills or how Jihoon needs them. “I’m really bad at remembering to take them. I don’t think they make a difference anyway. They’re uh...antidepressants. I don’t think they’re working so it doesn’t matter.”

“I think you should take them.” Soonyoung frowns and grabs the little bottle, holding it out. “I mean, it would be the smart thing to do. To use the resources you have to be healthy. I want you to be happy and healthy.”

Jihoon takes the bottle and sighs. He’s only been taking the pills when Wonwoo texts and asked him to. “It’s stupid to need pills like this in the first place. Embarrassing.”

“No, it’s not,” Soonyoung says getting up and taking a glass out of the cupboard and going to the sink. He fills it with water and holds it out. “The brain is an organ, isn’t it? It can get sick. Taking medication to help it function properly seems quite reasonable.”

He twists the bottle open and pours a single pill into the palm of his hand. Without a fight, Jihoon accepts the water. He’s trying to ignore how Soonyoung’s bare skin is practically touching him, how the softly toned muscle of his stomach flexes when he leans against the counter. “Whatever. I’ll take it. For you.”

A smile spreads across Soonyoung’s face. “For _me_? For your husband! I’m flattered. But really, Jihoonie, you should take your medication. There is nothing bad about needing it. I mean, I’m no expert on human medicine, but it’s just chemicals you’re lacking, right?”

“I guess. At least partially.” Jihoon downs the pills in one quick go, cringing at the feeling of it going down his throat.

“Aren’t I just as reliant on the same chemicals to be healthy and feel good? The only difference is my body can naturally produce those chemicals. You needing meds doesn’t mean anything more than that. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or a bad person.”

Jihoon turns to Soonyoung. He’s still smiling, but it’s crooked – one side higher than the other. It’s perfectly imperfect. The type of thing Jihoon writes songs about. “I guess. I never thought about it like that. But it’s a lot more complicated than just chemicals. Things aren’t that easy.”

“I know,” Soonyoung says. “But it’s a building block along the way, right? You can’t just do one thing and expect to be healthy. It’s about balance. Like you can’t expect to be healthy because you run every day but the rest of the time you eat junk food and smoke cigarettes and have terrible relationships.”

Swinging his bag onto his back, Jihoon rolls his eyes and heads for the door. “Who are you to give advice? Aren’t you a damn selkie? What do you know about the pains and burdens of humanity?”

“I am a selkie! That’s what makes me wise!”

“How do you figure?”

Shutting the door and jogging to catch up, Soonyoung turns serious. “I have the knowledge of the sea from time immemorial flowing through my veins!”

“Sure, buddy.”

“I’m serious!”

+

In Jihoon’s opinion, the Yellow Sea is still pretty fucking cold even on a hot summer day. Soonyoung still convinces him to swim.

“Come on, Ji! The water is fantastic!”

“It’s fucking freezing!” Jihoon is fairly sure his balls are retracting back inside his body. Which is a sign he should _not_ be going swimming.

Soonyoung, seal skin still around his neck, grabs Jihoon’s hand. His touch is warm and his skin soft, sending an unfamiliar but not unwelcome buzz through Jihoon. “Come on! I want to show you something.”

“Can’t I see it from shore?” Jihoon pleads, trying to stick his heels into the sand. It doesn’t help. His feet sink deeper into the sand beneath the cold water and Soonyoung easily pulls him forward and further into the sea.

“I want you to experience the sea!” Soonyoung tells him earnestly. “The sea is a part of me and it’s a part of you, too!”

“What?” Jihoon gasps, the cold water lapping at his navel. Why did he ever think being friends with a weirdo like Soonyoung would be a good idea? How desperate is he for companionship? Desperate enough to freeze to death? “How do you figure?” He asks, teeth threatening to chatter.

“We’re married!”

He groans. “By whose law?”

“The laws of the _sea_!” Soonyoung declares, waving his free hand widely around them, as if it is obvious. “We cannot ignore this fact forever.”

Despite the bright sun, it is windy, and the water is cold and Jihoon wants to run back to shore and away from Soonyoung and whatever it is he wants. Jihoon is kind of terrified of what Soonyoung wants. He’s more scared he may want it too. “Watch me.”

“Come on,” Soonyoung pulls him more. “Just a little further.”

The water is at their necks now, the cold biting into Jihoon’s skin relentless, wrapping its uncaring hands around him. The sea is not known for being kind. It’s known for being hungry, devouring those unlucky enough to fall into its embrace. It’s also Soonyoung’s alleged home. And Jihoon, despite his better judgment, trusts the other man.

He’s swimming properly now, the seafloor beyond his reach. He looks to Soonyoung for guidance on what they have come this far into the water to see. It better be fucking good.

“Perfect.” Soonyoung grins at him, reaching out and pushing Jihoon’s wet bangs out of his face. Jihoon freezes momentarily at the intimate gesture. Then he begins to sink and snaps out of it, kicking his feet again. “Now, it’s sunny out. We’re in a clear spot. Lay down on your belly and look down. Also, hold this,” he gives Jihoon his sealskin. The weight of the gesture, even after their 'marriage' is not lost on Jihoon. “And watch!”

Without a further word Soonyoung dives into the water. Jihoon lets out a groan, looking at the sealskin in his hands. The weight of it, the hum in it, the softness, all of it is as strange as the first time he touched it. When he realizes Soonyoung isn’t going to come back out of the water any time soon he decides not to fight this. If his new friend thinks he’s a selkie there is little use denying it every time. He follows the instructions, taking a deep breath before putting his own face into the bitingly cold seawater.

They’re out deeper than Jihoon had realized. Soonyoung is several meters below him. At the surface, the water had been choppy with waves, but below things are calm, the water clear and bright from the midmorning sun. It’s like a whole other world. The island was another world from the mainland and yet here below the sea is a whole other place as well.

When Soonyoung spots Jihoon he waves and grins, bubbles dancing as they rise through the water. With his free hand, Jihoon waves back. He is unsure what to expect. That, fundamentally, is his relationship with the other man. He has come to expect the unexpected, for nothing to make sense, for nothing to be logical. It was not unlike the darkness in his head, the storm cloud in his heart. Some things were not made to be understood.

It is clear Soonyoung is a strong swimmer. He moves through the water with a strong grace, the muscles in his back and arms working with practiced ease. Cutting through the water playfully, like it truly was his home, Soonyoung does a few summersaults then pushes downwards with several strong kicks, body twisting like an eel until he reaches the seafloor. He looks so small, the seaweed and rocks around him seemingly dwarfing him.

Jihoon narrows his eyes, it's hard to see that far below. He breaks the surface quickly, taking a gulp of air before submerging himself into the cold again, eager to see what his maniac of a friend is doing. The water has to be far colder that deep. He wonders how Soonyoung can handle the cold and the pressure. How can he hold his breath that long? Were all islanders this skilled at swimming? Could Ellie move like this?

Soonyoung is digging along the seafloor, pushing back seaweed. He is looking for something. His movements seem confident, the few bubbles floating out of his mouth give no indication he is getting tired or running out of oxygen.

Finally, he raises something to his face to inspect. Then he lifts the object above his head, something small enough to fit in the palm of his hand. He waves it at Jihoon, who waves back, despite not knowing what it is. His curiosity is gnawing at him.

Soonyoung ascends to the surface faster than seemingly possible or healthy. He pops up beside Jihoon, dark hair plastered to his face with a wide grin. Unnervingly, he doesn't seem out of breath as he exclaims: “I found one!”

“Found what?” Jihoon asks, very out of breath. He frowns at the object in his friend’s hand. A clam. He has been diving and digging that long for a damn clam?

“This,” Soonyoung pulls the clam further part to reveal a massive pearl. Jihoon has never seen one so big. Bigger than a marble. “I thought we could make some other piece of jewellery for you. Maybe a body chain or earring. Might be too big for an earring.”

Jihoon blinks. The sun is bright, but Soonyoung is brighter. It hurts. “Uh, that isn’t necessary.”

“Do you know how pearls are made?” Soonyoung asks, dropping the clam back into the water. He begins to swim towards shore.

“Kind of.”

“Everyone likes to say one grain of sand gets inside, but it’s any irritant. Usually a parasite.” Soonyoung glances at him, amused. “Then it’s a defence mechanism that makes the pearl. A fluid is released to cover the irritant. The mussel, the clam, the oyster, it keeps covering whatever is inside of it. It coats it, layer after layer until a pearl is formed.”

They are nearly to shore, Jihoon’s feet welcoming the feeling of small stones and sand beneath him. Something steadier than the rocking arms of the sea. “Strange for something so beautiful to come from something bad.”

“Strange?” Soonyoung echoes.

The wind on Jihoon’s wet body sends goosebumps rising unbidden. The bright sun does little to warm him up as they take the final steps out of the water. The island is no tropical paradise.

Soonyoung trots across the sand to his bag and grabs a towel, unfolding it and wrapping it around Jihoon like he is a child. They fall to the sand together, Soonyoung seemingly unbothered by the cold, not even bothering with a towel.

“Strange,” Jihoon repeats, jaw tense as chilly wind blows across him. He doesn’t know how the other man is so unbothered by the cold. “Rarely does good come from bad, is all.”

He sets down the seal skin on the sand in front of them. He had forgotten he had been holding it, the weight and feel of it somehow natural to him. The second he lets go though; the hum he had grown accustomed to leaves him. It’s bizarre. It makes him uneasy. There is no logical explanation for that reaction from a damn seal skin.

“I disagree,” Soonyoung says, leaning back, palm digging into the sand. He closes his eyes and breathes in the sea air, soaking up the sun. Rivulets of seawater slowly streak down his long neck to his swell of his chest, over dusky nipples, across the muscles of his stomach and down the soft curve above the waistband of his shorts. “I think it happens more often than we realize. I mean, to get rid of something bad don’t we have to work to find solutions? Don’t we usually have to try several things? It takes time to make bad things go away. It takes patience. It takes relentless work. Bad things don’t just magically go away.”

Jihoon snorts. “Says the alleged magical creature.”

“I _am_ a selkie,” Soonyoung opens his eyes to frown at him. “I _am_ magical. I don’t know why you can’t believe it.”

“I’m a terrible realist. Sorry.” And Jihoon means it. He wishes he could believe his new friend. It would make everything a lot easier. He could get caught up in the fun and the magic and the impossible. He could be like a boy in a fairy-tale. Maybe then the ache in his chest would disappear forever. But alas, reality is much harsher.

Soonyoung closes his eyes again but doesn’t stop frowning. “Magic is real. At least, some is. I don’t think we have the same understanding of magic.”

“Likely not,” Jihoon concedes. The sun is slowly warming him up. He may forgive Soonyoung for making him go swimming. It would be kind of him to forgive his slightly insane new friend. The least he could do, really. It wasn’t Soonyoung’s fault he is slightly deranged.

“Magic is real. But magical solutions are not.”

“I wish they were.”

"Me too."

+

With the first heat wave comes the first storm.

After their morning swim, they spend the day along the shore. They beachcomb, they play stupid games of tag, and race across the shore so fast they send sand flying in their wake. Their footprints mingle, impossible to tell whose are whose. They have fun.

A fat raindrop falls onto Jihoon’s cheek, and he turns his gaze at the dark clouds blowing in over the water. “We should start heading back before it begins to rain.”

Soonyoung agrees, but it doesn’t matter because they only make it halfway before it begins to absolutely pour.

Together they run, slipping, and sliding up the mountainside back to Jihoon’s house. Their laughter is drowned out by the pounding of the rain.

“Oh fuck,” Jihoon pants when they finally make it under the eaves of his house. “I’m absolutely drenched.”

“Me too,” Soonyoung laughs, shaking his head. His hair is plastered to his face, but it doesn’t hide the amusement shining in his eyes. “I guess we should strip here before we go inside. We don’t want to make a mess.”

Jihoon lifts a brow in question. “Are you just trying to get me out of my clothes?”

“Maybe.” Soonyoung shrugs. “So, what if I am?”

Despite the chill from the rain, Jihoon’s cheeks begin to flush. He hates that they do. “Shut up.”

And before he can say anything else, Soonyoung starts to peel off his clothes. Which are, unfortunately, just his one pair of sun-bleached swimming shorts.

Jihoon’s eyes widen. “What are you doing?!”

“I don’t want to get your house wet,” Soonyoung shrugs, clearly unbothered by being naked. Jihoon struggles to keep his eyes on his friend’s, but he is still betrayed by his instinctive glance down to the coarse dark hair between his legs and what hangs below. “Are you not listening?”

“Uh,” Jihoon quickly looks out at the courtyard where the rain continues to come down relentless as the sea itself. Or as relentless as Soonyoung is friendly. They're about equal. “I am. Okay. Go inside.”

Soonyoung smiles innocently. “Aren’t you coming?”

“God, you do _not_ make this easy,” Jihoon huffs, pulling his shirt off. It falls to the ground with a heavy slap. He takes the massive pearl out of his shorts pocket and hands it over. Then he pulls his shorts down, though they are wet and it’s an ungraceful struggle. Hands in front of him, preserving what little dignity he has left, he heads inside to get dry clothes. And maybe a towel.

“ _Aw_ ,” Soonyoung coos, following him inside. “Human bums are so cute!”

Face burning, Jihoon forces himself to walk and not run into his bedroom. “ _Shut up_!”

When they’re both dressed (Soonyoung in Jihoon’s clothes) they realize how hungry they are. Soonyoung starts preparing something to eat while Jihoon sits at the counter in the kitchen with his writing notebook. The massive pearl sits on the counter next to him, beautiful and strange. He can't believe Soonyoung went through all that work to get it for him. Or that he somehow managed to find the pearl in one single dive. He's an impressive swimmer if nothing else.

Jihoon's humming to himself, Soonyoung for once knowing to shut up. He still hasn’t written much since being here. There isn’t imminent pressure to do so. He has enough money. He has a secure relationship with several companies. When he writes something good there is always takers. But that’s the business end of things. And music has never just been business to Jihoon.

“What are you writing?” Soonyoung asks once the smell of grilling meat has filled the kitchen. The steady fall of rain on the roof hasn’t let up.

“I don’t know yet,” Jihoon answers. He’s filled several pages with words. With melodies. With references to the dark and deep unknown, with diving under, holding your breath, to pearls and beauty. References to magic. References to love. Metaphors for drowning. “But I’ll let you know when I do.”

Soonyoung smiles at that and returns to cooking.

+

A few days later Ellie is singing along to the radio when Jihoon sits down at the bar. She has a good voice, a bit of a different timbre, but he kind of likes it. It’s the kind you remember, which is always a good thing in the music industry.

“Hey,” he greets her, dropping his bag. The stool squeaks under him. Familiar already. “Do you like this song?”

She turns and smiles when she sees him. Her beauty is just as startling as the first time. “Yeah, it’s catchy. The song of the summer it seems. Besides, the lyrics are sweet. I want that kind of love.”

It's the kind of compliment that Jihoon loves to hear. An honest one, that is. He loves how powerful music is, can connect a million strangers. Everyone, fundamentally, wants the same thing. To love and belong. Still, he can't help but prod a bit about the song on the radio. “It’s getting a bit overplayed now though, don’t you think?”

She shrugs. She’s wearing an oversized jean shirt over a crop top today. “No, not yet. Even if it was, it doesn’t change the fact it’s a good song,” she replies, handing him a tall glass filled with bubbling beer. “Why? Do you not like it? I can change the station if it bothers you that much.”

Jihoon shakes his head, the corner of his mouth twitching as he forces back a smile. “No, I’m just asking because it’s my song.”

Ellie quirks a brow at him from behind her bangs, eyeing him skeptically. “What do you mean it’s your song?”

“I wrote it,” Jihoon says. “And produced and arranged it.”

“You can’t be serious.”

Jihoon nods, taking a sip of his beer. “Yeah, it's what's paying for all my drinks so you should be thankful, I guess.”

Her eyes flicker over him; lips pursed. “I don’t believe you. This song is everywhere. Not just here in Korea. _Everywhere_.”

“Trust me, I know,” Jihoon reassures her. He can hardly believe it himself. “Look it up. My name will appear.”

Ellie glances around quickly before pulling out her phone and typing into it. She frowns at her screen for a few moments before looking at him with wide eyes. “Lee Jihoon. _You_ wrote that fucking song?” She gasps, reaching across the bar counter to push his shoulder roughly and send him spinning in his stool. “Dude! What the hell? Why didn’t you tell me before? Oh my god, you’re famous! That’s so cool.”

“What’s so cool?” Soonyoung asks, taking the stool to Jihoon’s right.

Jihoon hadn’t heard the other man come in. He isn’t surprised by Soonyoung’s presence though, he seems everywhere. Not that he minds, not really.

“You know this song?” Ellie asks excitedly, reaching behind her to turn up the radio.

Soonyoung nods, doing a little happy dance to the funky baseline. “I live _on_ the rocks. I don’t live _underneath_ a rock-” He snickers, throwing a glance at Jihoon, “- and I have good taste, of course, I know it.”

“Jihoon fucking made it!”

“What?”

“I told you I was a musician,” Jihoon offers with a shrug. “And a writer.”

He has been purposely keeping the extent of his success in the industry a bit of a secret. He doesn’t want people to like him because he is semi-famous. He wants to be treated like a regular human and make genuine connections. Plus, escaping the city and everyone who knows him was kind of the point of coming to this tiny island.

Soonyoung slaps Jihoon’s forearm. It stings. “Bitch! I thought you meant you played the guitar and posted covers to YouTube or like taught kids piano! Not like actually super talented and popular!”

“Yeah, honestly Jihoon, what the hell?” Ellie frowns at him, crossing her arms. “I thought we were friends.”

Pulling his own phone out of his pocket, Jihoon sighs. “Here, I’ll let you hear my version of the song. To make it up to you.”

“The demo?” Ellie asks, eyes brightening in interest.

“Yeah.”

“Fine.” Ellie concedes. Then, turning to Soonyoung, “how did _you_ not know this! I thought you were at his house every day. Aren’t you supposed to know stuff about your husband? Like the fact he is a talented musician!”

“I am at his house every day!” Soonyoung says, clearly offended. “And I did know he is talented. Of course, my Jihoonie is _very_ talented. He sings and plays for me sometimes!”

Jihoon doesn't bother to correct it had been one time. Though sometimes they do sing along to the radio together or hum folksongs. Soonyoung has a nice voice too.

Ellie frowns. “Whatever. Play the demo, Lee.”

And Jihoon does.

+

After they eat and say goodbye to Ellie, they head back to Jihoon’s together. It really is beginning to feel like summer. The island is coming to life properly, more people, more boats. It’s a slow change, but one Jihoon cannot help but notice. He wonders if the whimsical feeling will disappear from the island. He hopes not. 

“I like your songs,” Soonyoung says. “They are good, and I’m not just saying that because I’m your husband and I would love and support you even if they were shit. But they’re not.”

Chuckling, Jihoon nods. “Thanks.”

“You are really talented.”

“Thanks,” Jihoon smiles despite himself. He likes the praise, though would never admit to it. If his friend knew he surely would never stop.

Strangely though, Soonyoung is avoiding looking at him. He kicks at a rock on the dirt road. “But um, should I be concerned?”

Jihoon lifts a brow. “What do you mean?” None of his released songs deal with anything too heavy. They’re mostly uplifting or playful. 

“I mean, they’re mostly love songs,” Soonyoung says slowly. “Do you um...do you have someone back on the mainland? Or did you…use to? I don’t want to pry. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Jihoon doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He just shakes his head, his stomach twisting in a knot. “No. No, nothing like that.”

“Oh. _Really_?” Soonyoung visibly brightens.

“It’s ironic. Trust me, I know. I write love songs for a living and have never been in love. It’s pathetic.” He’s had plenty of time to dwell on that subject. It’s a very specific brand of self-loathing and loneliness. He’s usually better at pretending it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t see the point of pretending with Soonyoung. The guy is in his own fantasy world.

“Never been in love?”

“Not yet,” Jihoon echoes. “There might be something wrong with me. I mean, there definitely is something wrong with me but-“

Soonyoung wraps an arm around Jihoon’s shoulders, pulls him close. As always, Soonyoung is warm, his sealskin on his shoulders a familiar soft brush against Jihoon’s skin. He smells of the sea. “You are perfect, okay? You aren’t less for never having fallen in love. If it makes you feel better, I don’t think most people plan to fall in love. It just happens.”

“Have you ever fallen in love?”

“Yes,” Soonyoung says instantly. “I never planned for it to happen. It took me by surprise, but I think it changed me for the better." He pauses, gaze falling onto Jihoon. "Our circumstances changed a lot of things. I know human customs are different. I don’t expect you to love me just because we’re married. You’re figuring out a lot of shit. I understand. At least, I want to.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I’ve been doing my best to make this work. Ellie is sick of seeing me because every time I come visit her it’s with another question on how to make you happy. How to make you like me. If it wasn't for her you would get a lot more fish left at your doorstep.”

“I do like you,” Jihoon admits with a laugh. “You didn’t give me much choice in your friendship.”

“Can’t fight fate. Can’t fight the magic of the sea.”

And there he goes again with the damn selkie thing. Jihoon has almost gotten used to Soonyoung carrying the seal skin around, despite how weird it was. He’s played along, let Soonyoung call his family his pod and ignored how he seems to have very few and very ratty clothes. He knows there is something odd about Soonyoung. He’s not trying to deny that his new friend is interesting bordering weird, the whole population of the island feeds into it.

"I can't?"

"No."

Something sours deep inside Jihoon. He’s annoyed with Soonyoung, but he knows he shouldn’t be. Maybe he’s just tired. He’s tired a lot. More than he should be. Maybe he just doesn’t like the idea of Soonyoung being in love with someone else despite being married to him. It makes him feel guilty. All he ever did was drunkenly pick up what he had thought was a stranger’s coat. And now they’re here.

He pulls out of Soonyoung’s hold as his house comes into sight. “I’m tired,” he says, which isn’t a lie. But it’s not exactly the full truth either. “You should go.”

Soonyoung blinks at him, smiling dropping slowly. “Oh. Okay. Are you sure? We could watch a movie or-”

“Go.” Jihoon hates how fickle his moods can be when he’s like this. He knows he’s being unfair. He knows he’s probably hurting Soonyoung’s feelings. But he is tired and there is a heaviness in his chest and a wrongness in his stomach that he can’t push back with some of Soonyoung’s easy smiles or jokes. He needs to be alone. Being alone will probably make it worse but he can’t stand Soonyoung seeing him like this either.

They walk together to the edge of the courtyard. Soonyoung watches him carefully, his gaze heavy enough that Jihoon feels it like a woollen blanket on his shoulders. Or like a sealskin. Ha.

“Well, if you need anything just come to the shore and call for me,” Soonyoung says finally. He sounds unsure of himself. Of what to do with Jihoon when he’s like this. Jihoon can’t blame him. He doesn’t know what to do with himself when he’s like this. He knows he’s no fun to be around. He’s not nice when he’s like this. He hates it and yet he can’t stop it.

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon manages when Soonyoung finally turns to go. No matter how odd his friend is, it doesn’t excuse cruel behaviour. “For pushing you away.”

Soonyoung pulls his sealskin off his shoulder, fingertips running across the spotted skin thoughtfully. His dark eyes meet Jihoon’s and for once he doesn’t smile. “I accept your apology. I know you don’t want to be like this. I hope someday soon you realize that learning to accept love will make falling in love easier. You need to believe you're worthy of love. I can tell you that every day but it won't matter until you truly believe it yourself.”

“It’s not that simple,” Jihoon says lamely, throat constricting. There are a million things he wants to say. He wants to do better. He wants to offer a proper explanation, but he can’t. He doesn’t understand this either. All he knows is that he hates seeing Soonyoung sad. He hates knowing he's not easy to be around. Soonyoung has been nothing but kind and generous to him. He has been nothing but a kind friend when Jihoon had no one else here. He wants to let Soonyoung know how grateful he is, how his kindness can never be repaid in equal.

He swallows hard but says nothing.

Soonyoung turns to go, heading down the trail to the sea. “I never said it was simple. But it will be worth it.”


	4. You know that I would jump too, oh, into the blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol there was like 3 angst scenes I wrote this past summer and I couldn't bother to cut them so this chapter is just repetitive angst i apologize

He does sleep. For longer than he should. When he wakes, it’s the next afternoon. His mouth is dry and his stomach hurts, though Jihoon can’t tell if it’s hunger or upset. He stumbles into the kitchen and takes a bottle of coke out of the fridge and downs it. He leans against the counter feeling disgusting and disgusted with himself. He fucked up again. Why is he even surprised?

When his eyes land on the massive pearl beside the pill bottle on the counter, Jihoon sighs before grabbing it and taking his dose. It’s a small concession for Soonyoung, even if he isn’t here to appreciate it.

He wonders if the other man has knocked on his door yet today. He hopes Soonyoung doesn’t think he’s ignoring him, not after how they left things yesterday. Jihoon still doesn’t know why he got so annoyed. He hates that he did. It isn’t like he can afford to lose friends, regardless of how weird they are. Soonyoung is weird and Jihoon suddenly realizes he doesn’t want that to change.

“Fuck.” He sighs again.

He showers and then goes and sits on his front step, looking out at the courtyard. He needs to figure this shit out. Whatever the fuck his deal is with Soonyoung. Of course, he takes his writing notebook.

Is it because he likes Soonyoung, is that what it is? The other man is handsome enough, Jihoon isn’t blind. There is a spark of attraction. And he is funny, easy to be around. Annoying sometimes, but it’s endearing in a way Jihoon had never thought was possible. That thought scares him more than he wants to admit. He probably doesn’t have a crush. He just isn’t used to having such a constant friend, the fact Soonyoung is handsome makes it confusing.

Maybe it’s the selkie thing. Jihoon has been googling them every night, not that he would ever admit to it. But he wants to understand. Why selkies? What made this creature of myth so interesting to Soonyoung, enough to make him pretend to be one with such commitment? Was there some underlying psychological thing about selkies or seals that if Jihoon had all the pieces to this puzzle would make perfect sense?

Then there is the possibility Soonyoung is telling the truth. That’s the worst outcome. Soonyoung being a selkie is the most impossible, the most fantastical. It’s also one Jihoon is considering more and more with each passing day, despite his realist brain. But when you look at the evidence, it makes the possibility hard to ignore.

In his notebook Jihoon decides ought to write it all out, maybe seeing it all on paper would help. He ignores the songs he’s written. Songs about the island. Songs about Soonyoung.

Evidence supporting Soonyoung being a selkie:

  1. Soonyoung carries a very real seal skin everywhere he goes.
  2. The aforementioned seal skin hums/vibrates? (??Nothing about this happening is mentioned online.)
  3. Soonyoung is _abnormally_ good at swimming.
  4. Soonyoung can hold his breath a long time and dive deep (should be issues with pressure??)
  5. Cold doesn’t bother him.
  6. Only has clothes a few clothes. All look like they were washed up on shore or found (not fashion choice?)
  7. Soonyoung eats a _lot_ of raw fish
  8. Soonyoung wears a lot of beachcombed jewellery/pearls (may just be a fashion choice.... he pulls it off).
  9. Soonyoung is _highly_ knowledgeable about seals and related terminology (anyone could be if they were really into it though. But Soonyoung has NEVER slipped up re: family=pod etc).
  10. Soonyoung believes they are married and won’t leave me alone due to ‘selkie beliefs’ and has thus far not given up on courting/befriending. A normal person would probably give up and not want to deal with BS.
  11. Soonyoung has no sense of modesty (might just be proud of his dick?)
  12. Ellie gave a **_very_** unconvincing ‘no’ when asked about Soonyoung being a selkie (maybe the strongest evidence).
  13. Island people seem to cryptically know about Soonyoung and his family being weird. Warned about respecting them?? (Need more info.)



Jihoon looks at his list. He’s probably missing something. Or a lot of things. Small things add up to the big picture. And he’s around Soonyoung enough for the little things to blur into ordinary. He reviews his list.

“Fuck.”

He heads inside to get dressed. He needs to go talk to more people in the village before he makes the final call.

+

“Ellie, we need to talk,” he says as he enters the restaurant. It’s before the dinner rush, but there are a few tourists seated by the windows. The summer has only started, this is surely only the beginning.

Leaning against the counter, Ellie glances up with dark eyes winged with liner. “Ugh, what now? You’re like a living angst tab.”

“Shut up,” Jihoon narrows his eyes but can’t help the incredulous chuckle that escapes him. “I am not.”

She lifts a perfectly straight brow in challenge. “You two seemed so happy yesterday. What happened? Did your dear husband not like a song you wrote for him?”

“I’m being serious,” Jihoon says, coming up on the opposite side of the counter. He does his best to straighten his back, but it doesn’t change the fact she’s taller than him. “I need the truth. And I need to be able to trust you to give me it.”

Ellie’s gaze drops before slowly rising to meet his. She is his friend, yes. But she of the island. Where her loyalties lie is a mystery. “Okay,” she says firmly, making the hair on the back of Jihoon’s neck rise. Ellie is pretty, sure, but for the first time, he realizes she is also kind of scary. He wonders how or why a woman like her remains on the island. “Ask me then. I’ll do my best to tell you the truth.”

He swallows hard, mouth suddenly dry. Clenching his fists, refusing to let them shake, he asks, “is Soonyoung truly a selkie?”

The corner of Ellie’s red lips twitch. “Yes.”

Jihoon blinks. “Truly?”

“Yes,” she nods solemnly. “Anything else?”

Jihoon lets himself fall into one of the bar stools. The restaurant is spinning. Just slightly.

_Soonyoung is a selkie. Soonyoung is a selkie. Soonyoung is a selkie._

“How does…how does that even work?” Jihoon asks in a pained voice. For some reason he can’t explain, he believes Ellie. Maybe it’s the rest of the evidence on his list, but he knows that she wouldn’t lie to him about this. She doesn’t want to hurt him. “And does everyone here know?”

“The old islander families all know, yes,” she says. “The selkies are just as much part of the island's history as we are. They have always had a relationship. An understanding.”

“How can you understand something that doesn’t make any sense?”

Ellie smiles. “Does anything really make sense? Until a hundred years ago this island was basically untouched. We had our own legends and customs. Our own understanding of what was real and what wasn’t. Selkies have always just been a part of the island, at least, during the summer months.”

Jihoon bites his lip. He may still pass out. “Yes, Soonyoung mentioned something to me about that. About going north to China for the other part of the year.”

“Yes, it’s a migration cycle to do with having pups,” Ellie explains with the wave of a manicured hand. “The island used to have ceremonies, celebrations, to do with the selkies. We haven’t in years, not since Korea had a king. It isn’t safe for them anymore, especially not with the fishing industry and the tourists. The selkies come to the island but don’t really talk to people they don’t know. We can’t have the secret leaving. Do you understand?”

She is watching him carefully, as if worrying he might make a run for it. Where Jihoon would run, he isn’t sure. Maybe back to Seoul, to Wonwoo. But that wouldn’t do anything.

“Why me?” Jihoon manages. “If selkies aren’t supposed to talk to people they don’t know, then why did Soonyoung choose me? He just showed up at my door and declared we were married by the laws of the sea. That doesn’t seem in line with keeping a low profile.”

“Does Soonyoung seem like the kind to follow the rules? That damn boy goes around lost in his own world half the time, clueless to the danger he’s putting the island and his own damn family in.”

Fair point.

“Okay,” Jihoon allows. “But the marriage thing!”

Ellie sighs. “He’s a romantic, I guess. And you shouldn’t have touched his seal coat! What did you expect to happen!”

“I was _drunk_ , and thought I was _helping_ a stranger by picking up his _jacket_!” Jihoon is feeling well enough now to slam his hand on the bar counter to make his point clear. The tourists by the window glance at him warily. In a low voice, he adds, “I never thought that would end in _marriage_.”

“Well, here we are,” Ellie shrugs. She grabs a towel and nods at a couple coming in the door. “You’re married by the laws of the sea to a selkie whether you like it or not. It’s up to you to decide what you’re going to do. Just let me say this: if you break Soonyoung’s heart I’ll beat you up.”

“What?” Jihoon guffaws. He doesn’t doubt her though. Maybe it’s some weird islander/selkie pact. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. It’s not like we married for love.”

“He loves you.”

Jihoon’s eyes dart to hers. “What? How do you know? That’s not even possible, I’ve known Soonyoung for like a month.”

“He loves you,” Ellie repeats. “It’s impossible not to see. The way he looks at you. The way he talks about you. And need I remind you this is _Soonyoung_ we are discussing.” She gives a pointed look. “What is normal to you and me doesn’t apply to him.”

The thought scares Jihoon. Soonyoung loves him. His husband who is a selkie loves him.

The restaurant is getting busy. Ellie keeps waving and nodding at people. She’s going to have to go back to work soon.

“What should I do?” He asks. “I don’t…I do like Soonyoung. I don’t understand any of this, but I don’t want to lose him. He’s my friend.”

“Tell him that,” Ellie says. “Just be honest. Stop fighting how you feel, Ji. I know you’re freaked out and scared, but don’t let you be what makes you lose Soonyoung. If you ask any of the island elders, they’d tell you it’s fate. You’ve been drawn together by the sea for a reason. Fall into its embrace.”

Since stepping foot on this island Jihoon has felt its pull. Being told there is old magic here doesn’t surprise him. And yet, he’s scared. He never meant to get caught up in all of this. He came here to escape the mess inside himself, and now he’s tangled in a fishing net of magic and myth and secrets. All he’s ever wanted was to be happy. And Soonyoung does make him happy. He makes everything a bit easier, which is all Jihoon can really ask for.

The idea of the sea having a role in the two of them meeting, in his fate, scares him. The sea is so big, and Jihoon is so, so, small.

“I’ll talk to him,” Jihoon promises, standing to go. He’s tired. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

Ellie waves him goodbye. “Good luck.”

+

He doesn’t see Soonyoung for a week.

Jihoon doesn’t seek him out, doesn’t go to the shore and call for him. And Soonyoung doesn’t show up at his door, bearing gifts either.

Jihoon misses the selkie terribly.

After he had finished talking to Ellie things seemed clear. Soonyoung is a selkie. Selkies are part of the island, of its history and lore. But Jihoon couldn’t get past his role in all of this. Or the fact Soonyoung _loves_ him.

And because Jihoon is a coward, because he is fundamentally a messed-up person, he spends each day tearing apart the claim. Because it’s ridiculous. Soonyoung can’t love him. Why would anyone love him? He’s done nothing to deserve it.

When Wonwoo calls, he answers but can’t even bother pretending for his best friend.

“What’s wrong?” Wonwoo asks without prompt. “Don’t pretend otherwise. I know when you go silent for days it’s nothing good.”

“Nothings wrong.”

“Ji, don’t lie to me.” Wonwoo sighs. “Do you need me to come there? Do you want to come home? I’m worried about you.”

“No, don’t trouble yourself,” Jihoon is quick to dismiss any ideas of travel. He can’t bear to leave this island now that he knows the truth. He’s tied to it in a way he cannot deny. “It’s just another…” he refrains from the word _episode_ , “bad time.”

Pause. “Did something happen?”

A lot of things have happened, but Wonwoo would understand none of it. Jihoon wouldn’t even know where to begin.

“What would you say if I told you I had fallen in love and gotten married?”

Wonwoo lets out a surprised snort. “Ah, congrats, I guess…why?”

“I don’t know. I just can’t imagine it. I’m not exactly an easy person to love. I don’t think anyone could.”

“Ji, we’ve talked about this,” Wonwoo sighs. “My stance hasn’t changed. You’re a great guy. A good friend. A talented and special musician. Plenty of people would love you if you gave them a chance.”

Maybe that is the issue. Jihoon never gives people the chance. Which unsurprisingly makes him the problem.

“Why?” Wonwoo asks carefully. “Has…. have you met someone?”

He doesn’t want to lie to his best friend. His best friend has put up with a lot of his shit over the years, disappearing for weeks, ignoring calls and texts when trapped within the prison inside himself.

“Kind of,” Jihoon allows. “I don’t…it’s kind of complicated.”

Wonwoo doesn’t say anything for a long moment. Finally, “I think you should at least give it a shot.”

Again, Jihoon feels the urge to insist things are not that easy or simple. He’s scared and confused. Magic is real and the sea is terrifying, but not as much as Soonyoung. Soonyoung with his bright smiles that make his eyes turn into sweet crescents. Soonyoung who is nothing but kind and patient. Soonyoung who has been his friend, despite Jihoon being a rather unpleasant person most of the time.

He doesn’t deserve Soonyoung. That’s the simple truth of the matter.

“Maybe,” Jihoon tells his best friend.

“I got to go, but call me sometimes, okay?”

“Okay.”

Then, for the first time in days, there is a knock on his door.

It’s like he’s swallowed a ball of lead as he goes to the door. He knows who is there yet can’t quite manage to make himself smile as he opens the door to Soonyoung. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Soonyoung repeats. “I missed you too much to stay away any longer.”

Jihoon feels as if he’s been slapped. “Really?”

“I miss you every moment I’m not with you,” Soonyoung says with a shrug. “Selkie marriage thing I think.”

Jihoon steps outside, closing the door behind him. He wants a place to retreat to. To escape if things turn sour. “I uh, I talked to Ellie about that. About you. About the island and the selkies.”

Soonyoung’s brows lift in surprise. “You could have asked me. I probably know more than her, despite her being the island’s next seneschal.”

“What?”

“Ha!” Soonyoung grins. “She didn’t tell you? It’s a position on the island for ensuring the relationships between us seal folk and the islanders stays strong. It runs down the matriarchal line, and now her grandmother is getting old, which is why Ellie has come back here. She’s the next one in charge of keeping everything running smoothly. It’s a big honour. It’s also how we became friends.”

That explains a lot of things.

“I didn’t believe you until talking to her,” Jihoon confesses awkwardly after a long moment. “About being a selkie. Or married. I kind of thought you were just a bit off your rocker, sorry.”

Soonyoung’s brows knit together. “You thought I was lying? Yet you still hung out with me?”

“I mean, it’s kind of slim pickings for friends and you were pretty insistent.”

“Damn.”

“I’m sorry.”

Soonyoung looks at him. “So, now you believe me? That I’m a selkie and we’re married?”

Jihoon nods.

“Can I kiss you?”

“What?” Jihoon takes a step back. “Where did that come from?”

“I thought you said you understand everything now,” Soonyoung says, eyes wide. “I thought that meant…. something different that you did, I guess.”

Jihoon’s pulse races and he swallows hard. “Ellie said some other stuff. That you, uh, that you love me.”

The reply is instant. “I do.”

The surety Soonyoung has in those words unnerves him. Jihoon doesn’t know what to do. He’s terrified. He’s never been in a situation like this. He never planned for anyone to love him.

“I don’t know what you fucking want from me!” Jihoon spits out. “I’m a messed-up person, alright? I don’t love you back. I’m terrified of everything. I’m a fucking coward that’s done nothing but run from his problems and push everyone who’s ever loved me away.”

“Ji-”

“I don’t deserve your love; don’t you get it?”

“I’m not asking you to love me.” Soonyoung reaches out, fingers soft and warm and familiar on his skin, but Jihoon takes another step back. “I’m asking to let yourself be loved.”

Jihoon stares at the other man, tears swelling in his eyes. He’s angry, mostly at himself. He wishes things could be easy. He wishes he wasn’t so fundamentally broken. “I’ve told you. It’s not that easy.”

“You’re scared, I get it.” Soonyoung reaches out to touch Jihoon’s shoulder, but he pushes him away. Soonyoung bites his lip, hurt. “But you deserve to be loved, Ji. You have to let yourself be vulnerable. You have to take that leap and trust another person. It doesn’t even have to be me.”

Jihoon’s throat constricts. He knows what Soonyoung says holds truth. He hates that he can understand what Soonyoung is saying but can’t make it a reality. He hates that he’s like this. “It’s not that easy. Do you not think I want to fall in love? I write fucking love songs for a living.”

And there it is. The truth he has been carrying like a weight on his shoulders for years.

“No one is going to force you to open your heart,” Soonyoung says, “but that isn’t going to stop me from loving you. Or anyone else.”

On some level, Jihoon knows this. He also hates this. “I don’t deserve it, Soonyoung. You’re wasting your time.”

“I disagree.”

Jihoon shakes his head. He’s so tired. “I think you should go.”

“But Ji-”

“Please leave.”

Soonyoung stands. “Okay. But that doesn’t change how things are between us. I won’t stop loving you. I’ll wait for you until you’re ready. Even if that means you just want to be friends, I will always care about you.”

Something in Jihoon snaps. “Get the fuck out of here, Soonyoung. I’m done with whatever this is. It was a mistake. I’m sorry.”

+

Another week passes. Summer arrives in full sun and warm winds.

Jihoon lets himself drown in his thoughts. He plays on piano and the guitar, he drinks his coke and takes long showers. He tries not to think about Soonyoung.

All he does is think about Soonyoung.

He’s sitting cross-legged on the living room floor playing the guitar when Ellie storms in, not even bothering to knock.

“What the fuck?” Jihoon asks, startled. He didn’t even think Ellie knew where he was staying, but then again, she is of the island he is not.

“You fucked up.” Ellie strides over to him and reaches down and pulls the guitar out of his hands. “You broke Soonyoung!”

“He’s a grown man,” Jihoon frowns. “A grown _selkie_. He’s perfectly fine of taking care of himself.”

Ellie glares at him, sending fear shooting up his spine in earnest. “What happened? I thought you were going to embrace the magic and Soonyoung.”

What did happen? Jihoon doesn’t have a clear answer.

“I overthought things. And then things were bad.”

Ellie’s gaze softens, just a fraction. “Ji, I was honest with you. Now I need you to be honest with me.”

He nods. He’s a bit scared if he doesn’t, she’ll wack him in the head with his guitar.

“Do you care for Soonyoung?”

The answer comes easy. “Yes.”

“I know you have your own shit going on. Your own struggles. And I’m not here to make you confess to every bad thing you’ve ever done,” Ellie says. “But just because you’re scared and in pain doesn’t mean you can go around and break other people.”

“Trust me, I know,” Jihoon says bitterly. “It doesn’t give me an excuse to be horrible.”

Ellie takes a deep breath, liner-winged eyes accessing him. “I think you want Soonyoung. I think you want your weird selkie marriage. You’re just scared.”

Jihoon stands, no longer afraid she’s going to hurt him, but not wanting to take chances. He also can’t stand the way he looks at her, the way she can read him so easily. “I’m scared.”

“The sea has a magic I can’t explain. This island has a magic I can’t explain either. I trust it, and now, I need you to trust me. I need you to trust Soonyoung. I can’t allow things to continue like this.”

Jihoon thinks of what Soonyoung told him about Ellie. The island’s seneschal. Is she here because she’s his friend or because of her job? Does it really matter? He might get beat up if he fucks up anything else either way.

“I understand.”

“Then fix this.” Ellie shoves his guitar at him. “I’ve already talked to Soonyoung. I told him you were having a human breakdown and that you would be coming with an apology soon.”

Jihoon’s mouth drops open at the audacity. She went to Soonyoung and told him things would be okay already! Before coming to talk to him! He could have said no and gotten on the next ferry off of the island. Except they all know he wouldn’t.

“I will,” Jihoon promises. He’s written a dozen songs in the past few weeks, he wants to finish the latest. “Soon.”

+

Jihoon sleeps poorly, waking frequently during the night. Eventually, he gives up on sleep as the first soft ochre rays of sunlight filtering in his eastern window. It is unlike him to be up this early, even before dark clouds had encased his head.

He tugs on the shorts from the day before and pulls on a hoodie. He doesn’t bother with his hair. Like a man possessed, just puts on a cap. He quickly grabs the few things he needs water, an apple, his notebook and pen, tossing them all into his bag. Then he is gone, letting the weathered door of the house slam behind him as he takes off in a trot down the trail.

Instinctively, Jihoon goes down to the shore. He wants to feel the wet sand beneath his feet, squish it between his toes, let the cold saltwater of the Yellow Sea kiss his ankles good morning.

It isn’t until he is finally standing in the sea that he realizes what he is doing.

When you are broken, you run.

Jihoon has tried to run away from his problems by coming to this island. A ridiculous notion he realizes now because most of his problems are within him. He is the problem. Sure, the city didn’t help. Too many late nights, too much drinking, too many fake friends and all the other troubles that are associated with fast fame and wealth. But when he finally crumbled, it was because of the weaknesses that have always existed within him. And he could only take so much.

Sometimes, Jihoon realizes now, when you run, you run _towards_.

Helplessly, blindly, and even unknowingly, you run towards something you need desperately. He’s an artist. A creator, someone who puts their heart and soul into making something that makes him feel alive. To Jihoon, writing music and lyrics was something he’s always had to do. He’s never had a choice in doing anything else, these things within him exist and need to come out. Creating is a part of him just like breathing in and out. He needs them to be alive. And he has learned there is a vast difference between living and being alive.

He takes another step into the sea. Jihoon wants to feel alive.

Not too far out from shore, there is a cluster of rocks, a small island really. But it is too far for Jihoon to try to swim. The rocks are dark in the early morning, the water breaking around them lazily. At least two dozen seals are atop them, their round greyish bodies piled together. Most of them are sleeping. The smallest ones are the centre, pups who would otherwise be vulnerable at the edge of the water. Protected by family. Protected by love.

Jihoon thinks of what Soonyoung has told him about seals. About selkies. Their idea of family is not the same as humans. A pod is quilted together by everyone working together, the caring of pups and fishing are things shared by all. Loving one is loving all, caring for all. Taking care of everyone, knowing they’ll do the same right back.

Unconditional love.

His stomach in a knot, Jihoon realizes that he is tired of running. He wants to go home. He wants to _find_ a home. And this island, these waters, and the creatures within them are undeniably otherworldly. Jihoon has been ignoring the call for years and it took him breaking to finally come running towards his destiny. 

“Soonyoung!” He calls out to the vast sea before him, the sun rising at the horizon. He cups his hands around his mouth and takes another step into the water until the cuffs of his shorts become damp. “ _Soonyoung_!”

He doesn’t even know if this is Soonyoung’s pod. How would he even be able to tell? How do you tell seal from selkie? He is running on desperation and hope.

“Soonyoung!” He calls out again. “Please! Can I talk to you?”

With that, a few of the seals finally begin to stir. A larger, lighter grey seal lifts its head towards the shore.

Hope bursts in Jihoon. He’s too far to see clearly, but he knows the heather grey coat with dark spots, clustered so thickly on the back it seems almost solid black. He has tried to memorize the pattern and colouring, an impossible task. Everything about Soonyoung is impossible, and it frustrates Jihoon endlessly in a way that makes him desperate for more.

The seal on the edge of the rocks tilts its head. Listening. Waiting? After what seems like an eternity, the seal slips into the water.

 _Soonyoung_.

Jihoon steps deeper into the water. The cold bites into his skin, sends an ache to his bones. It reminds him he is alive.

The seal swims towards the shore, bobbing up in the water intermittently. Jihoon is suddenly hit by the beauty, the marvel of this creature as it playfully cuts through the early morning sea. He doesn’t see when Soonyoung begins the change, but suddenly the seal is gone and Soonyoung is grinning at him with a naked upper body a few meters away.

“Hi!” Soonyoung greets him cheerily, eyes practically disappearing in his happiness. “I was hoping I’d see you today.”

Jihoon doesn’t know how to do this delicately. He wants to be honest. He wants to rip the Band-Aid off and embrace this thing between them that he’s been denying for too long. He licks his lips once before spitting the truth out. “I want this. Our marriage. _You_.”

“What do you mean?” Soonyoung swims closer, head dunking in the water as he pulls off the rest of his seal skin. Then suddenly he is holding his spotted seal coat and standing in front of Jihoon completely naked. In the soft light of the sunrise, the drops that cascade down Soonyoung’s soft bare skin are illuminated like precious gems, and Jihoon cannot help but stare.

“I’m terrified,” Jihoon confesses. “But I’m ready to stop running. I want whatever you are offering me. I’m sorry for everything. For pushing you away. For being cruel. I was scared and I’m sorry.”

Lips curling up at the corners, Soonyoung shrugs. “It’s okay. I understand why you were scared. I didn’t go about all this the right way. Too strong.”

A chuckle escapes Jihoon’s lips. Because, yes, _strong_ would be the right word. Showing up at his door proclaiming love to a stranger. Marriage. Destined maybe, but still a stranger.

“You realize what you’re saying?” Soonyoung asks him, brows furrowing seriously despite the smile on his face. “You’re recognizing our marriage?”

Jihoon wasn’t sure if Selkie's definition of marriage and his were the same, but at this point, he wasn’t sure he cared. He just wanted Soonyoung. And everything that entailed.

“Yes,” he says. “I am your human husband, who doesn’t deserve you.”

“Oh, Jihoonie,” Soonyoung grins at him. Then he snatches the cap off Jihoon’s head and tosses it to shore, where it skids across the sand.

“Hey! What was that for?”

“So, I can do this,” Soonyoung says, stepping closer and threading his slightly webbed fingers through Jihoon’s dark hair. And then he is pulling Jihoon near and kissing him, drawing him deeper into the water. And Jihoon is happy to drown if it's in Soonyoung.


	5. I fell in love at the seaside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol cw smut :o

They start over. They try again.

Jihoon begins to fall. Soonyoung makes it so easy.

He leans on the edge of the boat and looks out at the water. The wind bites into his cheeks and blows his hair off his forehead like a mother readying her child for a goodnight’s kiss. Jihoon knows his cheeks will be warm tonight, wind burnt and dry. He probably won’t even care, too exhausted from a day rocking back and forth on the sea.

“Ready?” Soonyoung asks him, grinning beneath his ridiculous _Ongjin County_ hat. He has a fishing rod in either hand.

“I guess,” Jihoon accepts one of the fishing rods. The boat rocks back in forth in the waves, the island looking so small from this far out at sea.

He still can’t believe there were a handful of offers of local fishermen willing to lend Soonyoung their boats. Jihoon still doesn’t quite understand the relationship between the islanders and the selkies but seems like there is almost a reverent eagerness to do something for Soonyoung. Maybe it’s something with spotted seals being threatened due to melting ice and poaching. Jihoon has learned a lot about seals in the past few weeks. Everyone is willing to help, to protect.

Frozen shrimp hang at the end of his fishing line and he curls his lip up in disgust. “What are we fishing for again?” He doesn’t quite understand why they’re fishing in the first place. Soonyoung is clearly an expert at catching fish when in seal form, this boating nonsense seems unnecessary.

“Anything that will bite,” Soonyoung says, dropping a line in the rolling waves. “Amberjack tuna, flatfish, mackerel, sea bass. Or even octopus or squid would be good!”

“Do you eat all of that?”

Soonyoung nods. “The sea provides.”

Casting his line into the water Jihoon wonders if he will have to eat whatever they catch. If so, he hopes Soonyoung has been working on his cooking skills when Ellie. So far, it’s a bit hit and miss, though Jihoon always eats when Soonyoung serves him, not wanting to offend his husband.

 _His husband_.

He’s pulled from his thoughts with a distinct tug on his line. It’s more than the normal tension of the sea and the movement of the boat.

“Hey, I think I have something.”

“Ji, reel in!” Soonyoung calls excitedly, eyes wide in excitement. The fishhook in his ear catches in the sunlight. “Reel!”

It takes more muscle than he anticipated, but Jihoon reels and reels. It’s hard with the boat rocking in the waves, the floor slick with sea spray. His stupid lifejacket doesn’t help, big and awkward (Soonyoung made him wear it but didn’t put one on himself claiming he can’t drown due to the whole selkie thing.)

“Keep going!”

“ _No_ , I’m going to let it go,” Jihoon shoots back sarcastically. He’s reeling in earnest now, fishing reel bending under the weight of his catch. He’s at the boat’s edge, grinning as he reels. It takes him a moment to realize that he’s enjoying this. It’s fun. There’s a delicious anticipation and challenge in bringing up whatever is on the end of his line. “It's a fighter!”

Soonyoung has forgotten about his rod, leaning over the edge of the boat to see what surfaces. He has a fishing net beside him, ready to scoop up whatever’s been caught.

The muscles in his arms work as he fights the tension of the rod, the weight at the end of the line. Finally, the tail of a fish breaks the surface of the water with a splash. There’s a flash of silver scales amongst the broken waves.

“Oh, tasty! Tuna!” Soonyoung says, net in hand. “The sea provides and so does my husband!”

The final fight has Jihoon leaning back, his rod bending as he reels the tuna to the surface. Soonyoung expertly nets it, hauling the fish into the boat. It flops around angrily in the net, the floor of the boat slick.

Jihoon’s mouth splits into a wide smile as the adrenaline works its way through him. He is absurdly pleased with himself. “I did it!”

“You did!” Soonyoung agrees, throwing an arm around him. He presses a kiss into Jihoon’s hair and Jihoon lets him. “I’m so proud of you!”

Jihoon pulls out his phone and takes a picture, sending it to Wonwoo. His best friend will be very impressed.

Soonyoung has retrieved the lure from Jihoon’s fishing rod and put another frozen shrimp on the end of it. “Now, you have to catch something to present to my pod.”

Jihoon blinks.

“They want to meet you!” Soonyoung supplies with a shrug. “And bringing food will make a good first impression.”

He hasn’t even thought about Soonyoung’s family, his pod. Like, he has abstractly, in the way he knows they exist. He just hasn’t ever considered he’d get to meet them.

“What are they like?”

“Great,” Soonyoung says with a playful laugh. His lips are dry, maybe from the wind, maybe from the saltwater. “I mean, my noona looks basically like me but is a girl. She’s better than me at catching fish too, but you won’t hear me admit that in front of her.”

Jihoon hadn’t even known Soonyoung had a sister. “And your parents?”

“Traditional. They’re both like me when it comes to emotions. If any of us starts to cry it isn’t long before we all are,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head fondly, hair blowing in the wind. “They love me though; I mean they all do. I explained how selkie families aren’t like human families before. My parents didn’t just raise me. Everyone who wasn’t a pup when I was born did. They all cared for me, fed me, taught me how to fish, how to avoid boats. How to listen to the sea, how to follow the stars. Everyone learns from experience, having many teachers sets us pups up for success.”

“It sounds nice,” Jihoon tells him honestly, meaning it just as much as the first time.

“Don’t be nervous,” Soonyoung says as if reading his mind. “I’ve told them all about you. They already love you. You’re kind of a part of the pod.”

He lifts a brow. “Really?”

“Yup.”

“Weird. Cool weird.”

“Now,” Soonyoung says, gesturing at the sea. “You better get fishing, dear husband.”

+

Jihoon turns out not to be a bad fisherman. Even his selkie husband is impressed.

By the late afternoon, they drive the boat over to the northwest side of the island. Soonyoung says the best sunning rocks are there.

Jihoon’s stomach twists when the first spotted seal comes into view. There’s at least a dozen of them around a pile of rock not far from the cliff. Others are swimming, their heads bobbing in and out of the water.

Soonyoung turns the boat off and they drift closer. “Hey everyone!” He calls.

The seals bark at them excitedly. And although Jihoon has seen Soonyoung remove his seal skin several times now, the fact that there are many selkies here, many impossible mythical beings right in front of them, and they’re his husband’s family…it’s still hard to wrap his head around.

He half expects Soonyoung to pull off his shirt and to jump into the water, slip into his sealskin, but he doesn’t. He just leans at the end of the boat, waving as the seals approach.

“Noona!” He calls, lifting the large tuna Jihoon caught into the air. “Look what my husband brought for you!”

Jihoon goes and stands beside Soonyoung, unsure of what else to do. He watches as the seals all swim over, bobbing in the water and disappearing beneath the dark waves. One by one, they come to the surface, seal skins half-pulled back. It’s like they’re seal mermaids, and the idea almost makes Jihoon laugh.

“Hello,” greets a young woman who looks so much like Soonyoung it would be impossible to deny their blood. He does his best to ignore her nakedness. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Hi,” Jihoon says back, shy. More and more human faces and torsos are emerging from the water. “Thank you all for…” He doesn’t quite know what he should be thanking Soonyoung’s pod for. They didn’t exactly bless their marriage. They didn’t welcome him exactly either, he’s the one coming to them.

“For welcoming him to the pod!” Soonyoung finishes for him with a wide grin. “He’s brought fish to show how pleased he is to be an honorary selkie!”

The faces in the water smile back at him. Suddenly all his worries disappear.

“I want to thank you all for raising Soonyoung so well,” he says, glancing at his husband. “I am reaping the benefits. You have plenty to be proud of.”

“Aw, you got a good one,” Soonyoung’s sister calls out. “Now, let’s have the fish!”

They toss all but one fish into the water. The human faces disappear into the water. Seals come to the surface with fish in their mouths, barking happily.

“You’re welcome!” They call and wave goodbye. Soonyoung will likely return to them tonight, but for a few more hours, he’s all Jihoon’s.

“Thank you for letting me meet them,” he says when his husband is behind the wheel and steering them back to the village docks. He looks terribly suave and sexy for someone with ruddy cheeks, messy hair, and in sun-bleached clothes. “Not many outsiders will ever get the chance to meet the island’s selkies.”

“You’re not an outsider,” Soonyoung tells him, tossing a carefree smile in his direction. “The sea chose you for me. For this island. You belong here. This is your home.”

Heart swelling in his chest, Jihoon believes him.

+

When they kiss, it’s always Soonyoung who starts it.

“ _Ji_ ,” he will breathe against Jihoon’s neck, lips soft as they murmur his name.

And Jihoon won’t move, letting Soonyoung lean into his back. Part of it is he can’t believe Soonyoung wants him, truly wants him, hasn’t gotten sick of him yet. He stands there day after day, in front of the kitchen sink or looking out the window at the island, a flicker of a smile on his lips as Soonyoung kisses him. “Hmm?”

“I thank the sea every day for sending you to me,” Soonyoung always says. “And for you returning my seal coat to me.”

Simple words.

This time, tired from a day in the boat and full of their supper of grilled tuna, Jihoon is brushing his teeth. He’s fresh out of the shower, hair still wet and in clean sleeping clothes. He’s tired, but for once it’s probably from spending the day outside and not from the foggy clouds that visit his head.

Soonyoung showered earlier and now has joined him in the bathroom, coming up behind him, whispering the words against his skin. This time it feels different. The simple words don’t make Soonyoung’s ministrations any less tender, any less domestic. Or any less meaningful. If anything, said like this they’re more passionate, steadfast, and earnest.

“I’m thankful for those things too,” Jihoon confesses for the first time. Their eyes meet in the mirror above the bathroom sink. Soonyoung’s arms wrap around his middle, fingers ghosting beneath his shirt. His thumbs move back and forth on the soft skin of Jihoon’s stomach in gentle motions. “I’m sorry I make this hard sometimes.”

Soonyoung presses a kiss on the back of his neck. To the side of it. To the naked spot behind Jihoon’s ear. “The difficult things that we work to overcome are the most beautiful. The most worth it.”

In the mirror, Jihoon can see his face flush.

“You’re my pearl,” Soonyoung says, fingers dipping into the waistband of Jihoon’s pyjama shorts. His eyes stay locked on Jihoon’s though. “My absolute pearl. Nothing is more precious to me than you.”

The words scare Jihoon. He doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve being loved like this. It’s still hard for him to accept this, to accept Soonyoung. But like the moon pushes and pulls the tides, Jihoon is helpless, trapped within Soonyoung’s waves. A part of him wants to be pulled under with the riptide. To lose control and be consumed by the deepest parts of the sea, the deepest parts of Soonyoung.

“Your pearl,” he echoes softly. He’s no longer tired.

He turns, breaking Soonyoung’s hold on him. The other man looks at him with wide confused eyes. It doesn’t last long. Jihoon pushes him against the bathroom wall, leaning up and for the first time, he is the one kissing in earnest.

The watershed moment is lost in a frenzy of desire, one of Jihoon’s hands caressing Soonyoung’s neck, the other holding a fistful of his hair. He drinks in Soonyoung’s lips like freshwater, and he’s been stranded at sea. When Soonyoung moans against his open mouth, Jihoon is certain he is going to drown himself in his desperation for more. Drink and drink and drink until he is sick of it.

“ _Ji_ ,” comes the broken call of his name, cut off by another hungry kiss. They’ve never kissed like this before. There have always been lines drawn in the sand when it came to their relationship. Soonyoung was always careful, affectionate but careful, gauging how Jihoon felt above all. Soonyoung’s been so selfless, and now, Jihoon being the bastard he is, wants to be selfish.

It’s Soonyoung’s hips that first rut against his. Soonyoung’s hands that grasp at his shoulders, nails biting into the skin through his oversized sleeping shirt. Soonyoung’s ragged breath Jihoon breathes in.

“Take me to your room,” Soonyoung says in a breathless voice. “To your bed.”

His bed. Soonyoung wants to be in his bed. It’s more than a good idea, it’s as inevitable as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west. Jihoon was always going to end up like this, tangled up in Soonyoung’s gravity. Once he stopped fighting it, stopped denying the truth, it all came together so easily.

They stumble excitedly out of the bathroom, tripping and knocking over a chair as they pass the kitchen. Jihoon can’t be bothered to stop and right it, not with Soonyoung’s hands pushing at his shirt and warm lips on his neck. His shirt lands somewhere in the kitchen. Soonyoung’s ends up discarded near the bedroom doorway.

They don’t bother to close the door once they’re through it. There’s no point. There’s a whole island, but this house and this room, this bed, it’s just for the two of them. How they make it to his bed, Soonyoung falling back down onto it with a high laugh, Jihoon will never know. His seal coat is already lying at the foot of the bed, Soonyoung’s ultimate sign of trust, of their marriage.

He’s thought about it before. Thought about Soonyoung like this- naked and sprawled out in his bed, pliant and desperate, begging for him. Soonyoung’s hands caressing him, Soonyoung’s lips wrapped around him. Jihoon’s thought about it more than he would ever admit, late at night, early in the morning. In the middle of lunch, Soonyoung chatting away about the gulls and the local fishermen.

“You’re lovely,” Jihoon says sucking in his breath, lowering himself to the bed and caging the other man in. “I can’t imagine wanting anyone else.”

Soonyoung’s slightly webbed fingers thread through his hair, pulling Jihoon close. His eyes are dark with lust and completely incongruous with his bright smile. “Then prove it.”

It’s then that Jihoon realizes for the first time he is in love with Soonyoung, his selkie husband of the Yellow Sea. And there is nothing at all he can do about it. Except lean in and kiss him and continue to kiss him until their lips are swollen and lust sated.

“Okay,” Jihoon says, capturing his mouth in another searing kiss. He’s only ever kissed a few people, and never like how he’s kissing Soonyoung. When their hips connect again, they both let out involuntary, unflattering sounds.

Despite all his songwriting, Jihoon is inexperienced in love. He’s written about butterfly heartbeats and easy promises, about longing and falling as easily as leaves in the autumn. He knows a lot about love. He knows how to show Soonyoung love, even if he’s never done it before. At least, he hopes to do his best. Now, moaning his name and later, doing little things like buying his favourite food or walking him back to the beach.

They kiss open-mouthed, hungry, and enthusiastic. He feels Soonyoung’s strong, swimmers’ thighs wrap around him, muscled warm skin at his waist. Hs heels digging into Jihoon’s back. Soonyoung’s hands reach down too, shamelessly grabbing a handful of Jihoon’s ass.

Breathless he asks, “Is this okay?”

And when Soonyoung nods, he leans down, planting searing kiss after kiss on Soonyoung’s skin. He makes slow, purposefully progress from his jaw, down his neck, across his collar bones, down his sternum, into the softly toned muscle of his stomach. He tastes like saltwater and everything Jihoon could ever want. As he presses a kiss into the trail of hair below Soonyoung’s navel he reaches up and gently tweaks a nipple. Soonyoung arches against him, shuddering.

Emboldened, he reaches lower, tugging at Soonyoung’s shorts. Grinning, Soonyoung lifts his hips, kicking the offending garment off to the side.

“Eager,” Jihoon laughs, pressing a kiss into his hip.

“Yes,” Soonyoung agrees, brazenly reaching between his legs at his curving cock.

Jihoon swats his hand away. “Too eager,” he chastises. “Impatient.”

“Touch me then.”

Jihoon wets his lips. This is new. He hasn’t touched anyone but himself in months, and it’s never mattered before. No one but Soonyoung has ever mattered to him. Only Soonyoung will ever matter. Another impossibility amongst all Soonyoung’s magical impossibilities. If they’re fated then he can do nothing wrong. They’ll figure it out together.

“Ji, come on,” comes the soft plea. Hands card through Jihoon’s hair, tugging gently. “ _Please_.”

And that’s all the incentive he needs. Fingers lightly wrapping around Soonyoung, Jihoon looks up at the other man. Soonyoung’s dark hair damp against his brow, his lips swollen from kissing are slightly parted. His gaze shimmers with a bright spark of heat, of want.

When Jihoon moves his hand there’s a sharp intake of breath. He leans down and bites gently into the muscles of Soonyoung’s thigh, peppering kisses as his hand moves. He gets in an easy rhythm, thumb swiping across the cherried tip when it begins to bead liquid pearls. The irony isn’t lost on him.

When Soonyoung’s hips begin to lift, he reaches and presses them back down into the bed with his left hand, a teasing smile on his lips. “Is this okay?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Soonyoung nods. Both his face and chest are flushed. “Give me a kiss.”

Jihoon doesn’t let him go as he leans up and connects their lips. He licks into Soonyoung’s mouth, sucks on his tongue as he twists his hand. Soonyoung lets out appreciative moans against his mouth, making him smile.

When Soonyoung’s fingers wrap around his wrists Jihoon is momentarily confused. He breaks the kiss, looking at Soonyoung for guidance. He understands instantly when the fingers of his left hand are brought to Soonyoung’s lips. He licks at them, then sucks at their tips.

Jihoon is aching in his shorts. His hand stops on Soonyoung’s length as he watches his fingers disappear into the other man’s mouth. When Soonyoung begins to suck, Jihoon lets out a breath ragged with desire. The sensation is almost too much, yet is far from satisfying. A hot wet mouth, a dexterous tongue working its way around and between his fingers. A mimicry of what this could be. _Where_ it could be.

When Soonyoung releases his fingers, strings of glistening spit connect pink lips to Jihoon’s fingertips. His eyes sparkle darkly with desire. Soonyoung’s confidence is nothing but terrifying. “I want you to fuck me.”

Jihoon swallows hard. “Okay.”

Soonyoung’s eyes go to Jihoon’s wet fingers and he lifts a brow. “Well? Or do you have lube?”

The burning in his body is momentarily halted. Jihoon freezes, brows knitting together in confusion. What his selkie husband knows and doesn’t know about the human world is perplexing. “How do you even know what lube is, selkie boy?”

“Ellie,” is the simple reply.

Jihoon raises his brows and blinks.

“What?” Soonyoung shrugs. “I had a lot of questions. She had answers.”

“Don’t tell me you exploited her duty as seneschal to ask about human sex.”

“Gay sex. Yes. That’s why I took so long in the shower earlier. I had a gut feeling, a married-by-the-laws-of-the-sea feeling that tonight would be the night.”

Jihoon doesn’t have time to unpack that last sentence. It is absurd to think that some sea magic gave Soonyoung some intuition they would finally go all the way tonight. The Ellie part is much more pressing. “How am I ever going to be able to look her in the eye knowing my husband asked her for sex advice?” Jihoon asks in horror. The more he thinks about it the worse it gets, especially considering when Soonyoung asked about learning to cook they watched _videos_ together. “Oh my god.”

“So, back to the lube question,” Soonyoung continues, rutting his hips, fucking into Jihoon’s hand. “Got any?”

There are definite pros and cons to having a selkie husband, fated by the magic of the sea. He doesn’t understand human mores or propriety. He doesn’t quite understand what things were okay and what was weird and totally inappropriate. Pros are he is understanding about Jihoon’s moods and hot as sin, and apparently has a one-track mind when it comes to lovemaking.

“Yes,” Jihoon manages, shaking his head. He wants Soonyoung too much right now to reprimand him. That will be a discussion for later.

He drops Soonyoung’s dick, letting it slap against his stomach, much to his amusement. Then he stands, going over to the wardrobe and pulling a bag of toiletries out of it. He grabs the small bottle of lube he never planned on using with a partner and throws it at Soonyoung on the bed. It nearly hits him in the dick.

“Hey!”

“Stop touching yourself!”

“No!” Soonyoung pouts. “You’re too hot. I don’t want to. Now take off your damn tenting shorts and come fuck me.”

Jihoon does not need to be told twice.

Naked, he lowers himself back onto the bed, accepting the lube from Soonyoung. He presses a few more kisses into Soonyoung’s thighs. There are many things he loves about his selkie husband and his muscular thighs are very high on the list. Things about their relationship are daunting, sex is daunting, but Jihoon’s slicked fingers manage to find their way. When Soonyoung’s head falls back onto the pillow and his eyes close, giving himself fully to Jihoon, it’s almost like he’s giving over his seal coat willingly. He wants to be captured by Jihoon, wants to be his, wants to find a home with him. He trusts Jihoon. He loves Jihoon.

And since it is Soonyoung who is in love with him, Soonyoung who he has three fingers in, giggles and moans both come easily. Soonyoung’s body is warm and quick and smooth to give Jihoon everything he wants. Jihoon loves him for the giggles that come from Soonyoung’s amusement at his body’s responsiveness to touch. The moans come when Jihoon manages to get him comfortable enough to curve his fingers just perfectly into the bundle of nerves he’s been avoiding, saving the best for last.

“ _Ji_ ,” Soonyoung’s hands pull at his face, pulling him up for a kiss. Against the corner of Jihoon’s mouth, he murmurs, “if you keep that up your night will be shorter than promised. I’m ready when you are.”

Jihoon kisses him again, deeply, the way Soonyoung deserves to be kissed. The kind of kiss boys who fall in love with mythical creatures from storybooks get after defeating the evil witch. The kind of kiss that is a hundred words, a thousand melodies, a million promises for a forever happy ever after. He leans down, sucking a dark mark on Soonyoung’s panting chest. Selfishly, he wants to leave his mark. He wears Soonyoung’s necklace of pearls and he wants his husband to wear something from him, even if only for a few days.

When Jihoon settles himself between Soonyoung’s legs he does his best to hide his nervousness; there’s no point in trying to hide his desire. He wants Soonyoung so badly, his heart full and cock aching as he strokes himself with Soonyoung watching, once, twice.

“Take your time,” Soonyoung tells him, with lust-blown eyes.

“Shut up,” Jihoon shoots back with a half-hearted scowl. He takes a deep breath. The truth is he’s shaking he’s so anxious, so desperate for this. Soonyoung knows it too, whether it be plain to read or because of their alleged special connection due to the nature of their marriage. Either way, he appreciates the sweet sentiment.

Soonyoung reaches up and strokes along Jihoon’s jaw. When he’s positioned himself, Soonyoung takes his right hand and laces their fingers together.

When he presses forward Soonyoung squeezes his hand nearly as tightly as he does Jihoon’s dick. Even wrapped up in his own pleasure, he watches Soonyoung’s face, he can’t imagine looking at anything but Soonyoung’s beautiful, flushed face. His eyes are squeezed shut; his pink mouth open as he lets out a low groan.

“Ji,” he calls in a hoarse voice like a prayer. “Ji, please.”

And it’s all the permission Jihoon needs. He brings their laces hands to his lips and kisses them before releasing his own fingers, grabbing Soonyoung’s thighs pressing them to his chest. His hips do the rest, pulling out just enough to sink right back into the impossible warmth and pleasure. Over and over. Desperate and seeking only one end. Jihoon keeps his eyes on Soonyoung, learning to shift his hips just slightly with each new sound coming out of parted lips.

And unsurprisingly, Soonyoung is loud. He calls out Jihoon’s name over and over. He praises him. Calls a million pet names, begs for more, falls into nonsensical pleasure-induced babbling.

At some point Jihoon gives in. He loses himself in Soonyoung, chasing his pleasure. Their broken voices call to each other over the sound of skin against skin, the embarrassing wet sounds of sex. Eventually, Soonyoung’s hands end up digging into his shoulders, blunt nails digging into the skin, leaving burning trails as they drag across the skin.

White-out bliss building low in his belly, Jihoon reaches between Soonyoung’s legs, strokes him as he pistons his hips. Erratic and graceless Jihoon chases his peak.

When Soonyoung arches off the bed with a low moan, spilling into Jihoon’s hand and across his own stomach, tightening around him, it’s the beginning of the end. The marking of a million things to come. Now that Jihoon has seen the way Soonyoung’s eyes squeeze shut and how his lips curl into a smile through a moan, there’s no way he’s ever going to give up the chance to make it happen over and over. He’s never been religious, but he’s found his church and he’s already on his knees, balls deep in it.

Without further warning waves of pleasure roll across Jihoon, hips stuttering as he climaxes. “ _Fuck_ ,” he curses, chest heaving.

He collapses onto Soonyoung. He doesn’t even care that he’s lying on Soonyoung’s cum. His head lands in the crook of his husband’s neck. Panting, he breathes in the perfect smell of the sea, sweat, and sex. He lays there for a bit, coming back into his own body in slow increments. His feet are mingled with Soonyoung’s, tangled up in ruined sheets. His thighs are pressing Soonyoung’s warm ones, his stomach (along with Soonyoung’s) is slick and wet. His hands shake as he reaches out and strokes Soonyoung’s hair.

“Fuck indeed,” Soonyoung says, sounding breathless and as fucked-out as Jihoon feels. He turns his head to look down at Jihoon. When their eyes meet, they both give stupid grins.

Eventually, Jihoon gets a towel from the bathroom to clean them up. Exhausted, he collapses back into the low bed next to his husband.

“My pearl,” Soonyoung whispers, pulling Jihoon’s body to his. “The sea knew what she was doing giving you to me.”

He cradles Jihoon’s head against his love bitten chest, making Jihoon’s breath catch in his throat. Because maybe, despite all the songs he’s written, he doesn’t know much about love. But it’s okay because Soonyoung does.

+

When Jihoon wakes he’s overheated. Soonyoung is plastered to his back. Hot breath warms the back of Jihoon’s neck, a strong arm is thrown around him, a hand splayed out on his stomach. He’s being held, kept close like something precious. Like a pearl caressed inside an oyster.

The earliest rays of the morning sun are shining in through the window. The island birds are singing loudly to each other. Something shifts in his chest.

Jihoon has been slowly acclimatizing to Soonyoung’s skinship over the past few weeks. They’ve cuddled watching movies. But this is new. Soonyoung isn’t awake, his attentive eyes aren’t carefully weighing how comfortable Jihoon feels. This is something else entirely. Raw, honest, and unfiltered.

The night before is fresh on his mind. How can it not be?

It had been a long time coming, the final wall crashing down in their relationship. Jihoon had nothing left to hide, to give. They were with each other every day now. They didn’t hold much back, at least, Jihoon didn’t think they did. Soonyoung had been nagging at him about communication. They had been making an effort.

The realization that he is in love with Soonyoung is sharp as the morning sea air. He has never been in love before. He had given up hope of ever falling in love; doomed to writing love songs based on fantasy and hope and nothing more.

So much has changed since coming to the island. He came here to escape. Not to fall in love. He never meant to fall in love. The fact he is in love and married makes him want to laugh. Soonyoung has that effect on him. It’s a good thing. Jihoon hadn’t realized how healing laughing was, how important smiling was.

The fact Soonyoung is a selkie, some impossible magical creature, doesn’t really matter to him anymore. Because he loves Soonyoung. Every part of Soonyoung, including that part. He can’t imagine Soonyoung without his seal coat, without his funny inhuman quirks.

Being in love terrifies him. So much.

Stomach in a knot, Jihoon pulls out of Soonyoung’s arms, rolling onto his back.

Soonyoung groans but doesn’t wake up.

Dread washes over him like a storm blowing in off the sea. A perfect day at the beach ending with the rolling of thunder in the distance and the far-off sight of fast-moving clouds crackling with lightning.

Beside him Soonyoung sleeps, round cheek squishing cutely up towards his closed eye as he leans on the pillow. The sight makes Jihoon’s heart ache.

He sits up.

He is a mess of a person. He is too closed off. Too judgmental. He’s stubborn. He’s pessimistic. He internalizes too much. He pushes people away, even Soonyoung on some days.

How can he allow himself to love Soonyoung when he surely will end up breaking his heart? He can’t predict the next time the sadness will consume him, will hold him captive, a prisoner in his own mind. He can’t expect Soonyoung to love him when he’s sick like that, lying in bed for days, disgusting, unable to treat Soonyoung how he deserves.

He wants Soonyoung. He loves Soonyoung. And he knows Soonyoung loves him, but isn’t it selfish if he can’t promise to be everything Soonyoung deserves all the time? Soonyoung deserves someone who can always smile back, who won’t push him away. Someone easy to love. And that will never be Jihoon, no matter how hard he tries.

Jihoon is in love with Soonyoung. And he is breaking his own heart. But if he truly loves Soonyoung, then he will do what is right. Even if what is right is letting Soonyoung go.

+

“What are you doing here?” Soonyoung’s voice is nearly drowned out by the wind on the beach. The sea is as dark as Jihoon’s head today. The waves are rough, whitecaps the only break in the endless stretch of water.

Summer will be over soon. Soonyoung and his pod will be going north to China soon.

Bare feet digging in the cold wet sand, Jihoon doesn’t move. His eyes stay locked on the waves. The sun has inched its way up the horizon. He’s been here for hours, fleeing his bed with Soonyoung’s sleeping figure.

“What’s wrong?” Soonyoung asks, voice thick with worry. He stands next to Jihoon, wearing Jihoon’s sweater he must have found lying on the bedroom floor, seal coat on his shoulders. Soonyoung looks like he wants to reach out and touch him but doesn’t. “I woke up and knew something was wrong. I didn’t know where you went.”

Jihoon had thought he was done running. And yet here he is. On the beach. Looking for answers. Wishing he could be a better person. “Sorry.”

Gulls cry overhead. They ride the strong winds easily, dipping and rising in the sky, not even having to bother to flap their wings. It’s easy to them, natural.

“Has she talked to you?” Soonyoung finally asks.

“Who?”

“The sea.”

Soonyoung believes in the magic of the sea as much as he does in the moon in the sky. Maybe more. And why shouldn’t he? He is a selkie. He shouldn’t exist. It should be impossible for him to immerse himself in the sea and wrap the seal skin around him only to be transformed into a seal himself. Or, inversely, for him to be a seal in which a human man can emerge.

Jihoon has no reason not to believe in the magic of the sea. He’s married to a goddamn _selkie_. And yet, he struggles. He’s seen Soonyoung transform. He doesn’t understand it, but he knows it's real. The magic of the sea is something much more abstract. It’s bigger. It’s terrifying. Its limits are unknown.

“No,” Jihoon finally manages. “I wouldn’t even know how.”

Soonyoung wets his lips. “You need to listen. Embrace her.”

“I fucking can’t Soonyoung, okay?” He snaps. “I came here because I needed to get away from you.”

Jihoon hates the hurt that washes across Soonyoung’s face. “From me?”

“I love you,” he confesses, hair whipping in the wind. “And that’s why I can’t let you waste yourself on me.”

“What?” Soonyoung stares at him, brows furrowed. “I don’t understand.”

He’s been trying to think of the kindest way to do this all morning. But all he can manage is a broken, “ _you deserve better_.”

Without warning Soonyoung wraps his arms around Jihoon, pulling him close. His face is pressed into Soonyoung’s chest so tightly he can feel the other’s heart racing. “You’re wrong,” Soonyoung says firmly. “I deserve you. And you deserve me. The sea pulled us together for a reason, remember? I don’t want easy. I want _you_.”

His heart swells at the words. All he can do is wrap his arms around Soonyoung and hold him back, squeeze him just as tight. Because this hurts. He hates that he is the reason for the pain, that he can never be easy. He’s insecure and scared and he wants the best for Soonyoung. But Soonyoung refuses to think anyone but him is the best.

Soonyoung loosens his grip just enough to pull back and press a kiss to Jihoon’s forehead. “Everything will be okay.”

“How do you _know_? Jihoon asks. Tears swell in his eyes, and they’re not from the wind. “How can you fucking know that? Nobody knows! It’s bullshit to pretend otherwise!”

“I have the seafoam in my veins,” Soonyoung says, dark eyes shining. “I understand the language of the waves. The rhythm of the tides is etched into my soul. There is nothing the sea can’t heal, given time and the true desire to do so. Fresh air, saltwater, and an open heart are all you need.”

Jihoon pulls away. Falling to his knees at the edge of the waves, the bottom of his shorts dampening, Jihoon’s lets his tears fall. “Soonyoung, I don’t know if I understand. But I want to. I want to believe in all this. I want to believe in you.”

That their love will last. That Soonyoung won’t be wasting himself with someone as fucked up as he is.

Soonyoung gives him a small smile. “I believe in you. You are my first and only choice.” Then after another wave rolls into Jihoon, soaking his shorts, “I love you, remember.”

“I love you, too.”

The words still seem so absurd. Soonyoung is no longer a stranger, but it was not long ago he was just some weird man from this seaside village with laughing eyes. But Soonyoung has a deep connection to him, strings of fate tied from Jihoon’s pale fingers to Soonyoung’s water-wrinkled ones.

“This is hard for me,” Jihoon admits, the words tight in his throat. He swallows hard, more tears in his eyes threatening to spill on his cheeks. He can’t remember the last time he cried. “You make me want to believe things will be okay. That there’s magic that will make it okay.”

“Let go,” Soonyoung tells him, giving him a pleading and earnest look. He wants to trust in the unknowable, the magical. In the sea. “Give your tears back to the sea. I promise you; you will have no need for them anymore.”

And so, he does. He reaches down and cups seawater in his hands. He splashes it in his face, shuddering at the cold as he washes away his tears.

The steady rhythm of the waves onto the beach around them stops. The water keeps rolling over them, onto the beach. Waves rise in impossible ways. Huge, unprompted, terrifying.

“What is happening?” He calls out, looking to Soonyoung. His heart pounds in his chest, eyes widening at the sight.

Soonyoung shakes his head, only raises a hand to point at the water. “The sea.”

Without further warning, a massive wave rises from seemingly nowhere in front of him. Jihoon is helpless as it crashes down onto him, consuming him.

_Jihoon, son of the land._

He doesn’t hear words, at least, not in the way he is used to. Instead, it’s like the voice is inside his head. All around him. He’s being tossed within the sea, yet he is fine. He isn’t drowning, he isn’t even afraid. He feels an odd sense of comfort enveloping him.

_You are loved. You are loved for your stubbornness. For your ability to dig into something and concentrate, work hard at it with passion until it blooms. It is for these reasons you were chosen for Soonyoung._

In the water, he can’t even reply. But he nods anyway, to show he is listening. That understands. Any last doubts he had are gone, washed away with his tears.

_Stop fighting your fate. Soonyoung, son of the sea has never. Open your heart. Trust. You have the gift of music, use it well. You are loved._

Tossed about in the water, Jihoon is left on the beach coughing as the seawater around him retreats. His mind is whirling. He doesn’t know what just happened.

“Damn,” Soonyoung is lying on the sand next to him, soaking wet. “I didn’t think the sea could do that.”

Jihoon’s chest is heaving, he’s gasping for breath. “Did…did the sea just magically intervene to tell me to get my shit together?”

“ _No_ ,” Soonyoung laughs, reaching over and wrapping his arms around Jihoon. “Okay, kind of. I think the intention was to quell any doubts, past, present, and future. You belong here, okay? This is your home.”

There’s a melody forming in his head as Jihoon leans forward and connects their lips. He is overwhelmed. He’s freaked the fuck out but Soonyoung is here. And they love each other. That’s enough. “Yes,” he admits. “I’ve found my home.”

+

Jihoon puts in a more than generous offer on old fisherman Jung’s house. He hadn’t known how long he was going to stay when he first came to the island, and he hadn’t expected the answer to turn into forever. The sale closes within a few weeks.

He makes one trip to Seoul to get the rest of his things and to buy out the rest of his apartment’s lease. He visits his family and Wonwoo and explains he’s found a home. It's a man with seawater in his veins and a smile warm enough to keep him afloat, even when he falls into the deepest and darkest waters. And that man lives on an island off the northwest coast, tied to the sea in a way he can’t explain.

Jihoon makes promise after promise he’s not rushing into anything, happy now only to be crushed and alone in a few months. He can’t promise to always be happy, but he can promise to always love and be loved. And that is more than enough.

He’s honest: Soonyoung can’t fix him. Only Jihoon can fix himself. And maybe fix isn’t the right word. Build resiliency and a more apt understanding, perhaps. But the thing is, there’s no magical solution. It’s just trying his best, taking care of himself, of letting others take care of him too, when he needs it. There will still be bad days, that’s how life is.

But now he has a home, someone to throw a life ring to him when he falls into the cold dark sea. Someone to pull him back again into the boat, to shore, to put a blanket around his shoulders. To remind him it’s okay to not be okay. A lighthouse to protect him on the stormiest nights.

It’s a tough decision, but Soonyoung decides to spend only a few weeks away from the island during the winter. He can’t abandon his pod. They’re his family, they’re everything he’s ever known. But he also can’t leave Jihoon: he is his home. The sea and Jihoon are all Soonyoung needs, and he won’t go without either for long.

+

They marry again on the evening of the summer solstice, just shy of a year since Jihoon drunkenly picked up Soonyoung’s seal coat and returned it, unknowingly tying their fates together for the rest of eternity. The beach is still too cool to enjoy, not that Jihoon ever really thinks the Yellow Sea is warm enough for swimming.

Their friends and family watch them exchange vows. The island’s old family’s come too. Ellie as the official new seneschal leads the ceremony. Jihoon’s friends and family don’t know they’re already married, tied together by the laws of the sea, ancient and powerful. Everlasting. Soonyoung’s family stands proud, seal coats draped across shoulders. A coming together to two different worlds. For the better, in Jihoon’s opinion.

Bare feet digging into the sand beneath his sea-blue hanbok, pearl necklace still at his neck, Jihoon smiles so hard his cheeks hurt. The grin is reflected by Soonyoung. He’s glowing in dress pants and his naked torso is covered in elaborate strings of pearls. His seal coat hangs from his shoulders. He looks like a prince of the sea. Jihoon isn’t sure he’s not.

When it’s over, when they’ve kissed and done all the ceremonies, Soonyoung pulls him into a tight hug. “You really can’t get rid of me now.”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” Jihoon says. “And you can’t get rid of me either.”

Loosening his grip, Soonyoung looks down at him. “I don’t think the sea would let me. I mean, I think if I tried to swim away, from you, from everything, she would send a riptide that would wash me up in the courtyard. Imagine that, a big fat seal with big black eyes barking at you to wake up.”

“You belong here,” Jihoon says with an easy laugh. “With the sea. And with me.”

Soonyoung leans down, close enough Jihoon can count his dark eyelashes. He lowers his mouth to Jihoon’s, lips ghosting across, not yet pressing them together. “As do you my pearl,” Soonyoung’s lips taste of the salt of the sea, the realest of magic Jihoon has ever known. “As do you.”

The cure for anything is said to be saltwater - it’s in our sweat, tears, and the sea.

Jihoon is beginning to agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! Sorry it took so long lol....
> 
> I've gotten a few messages and comments about how people really relate to this fic. And I will be honest: I normally don't write this kind of fic, sticking to lighter happier things. Just yesterday I was telling Kassy my 2 types of fic are royalty and magic, high on fluff and low on angst. And that's because I am big on escapism through fiction and fantasy. 
> 
> When I started writing this fic last May I was freshly graduated from university, living at home, and had a completely certain future because of the pandemic. I didn't have much to do but walk along the beach and garden. I had one friend nearby who I saw, and that was it. The overwhelming uncertinity then, and still now, is debilitating. How can anyone expect us to look on the bright side amongst everything going on?
> 
> A lot has changed. I'm not saying shit gets better, but it does. There are always going to be bad days but there are definitely days so amazing that the bad ones don't matter in the big picture. Celebrate every little win. I've made new friends (probably a best friend who I now can't imagine my life without), had so many new experiences (even with 2020 being shit!!!) and learned a lot. Don't give up. Not on trying new things, not on your dreams, not on yourself.
> 
> I'm rooting for you!!
> 
> -Em
> 
> Kassy’s advice I feel compelled to include is: No matter how terrible you are someone out there is willing to accept you into their pod 💕

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/wizardwonu)


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